Finally A Fashion Trend That Makes Sense. A Group Of Chimpanzees Are Putting Grass And Sticks Up Their Ass As A Hot New Look

I'm usually pretty out of the loop when it comes to the latest fashion trends. I've been dressing the same for close to 20 years at this point. Give me a pair of slacks, a tshirt, some standard white shoe, and call it a day. So when I see people constantly changing their look to keep up with the latest trends, I've always found it a little silly. They are going to fit in for a year or so, but they're going to end up looking back on pictures of themselves and say to themselves "what the hell was I thinking?".
For the most part, trends are just that--a popular style that becomes widely adopted for a period of time. At some point, that period of time expires and the trend is no more. HOWEVER…this specific trend with a group of chimpanzees in Zambia might be built to last forever.
CBC -- A group of chimpanzees in Zambia have resurrected an old fashion trend with a surprising new twist.
Fifteen years after a female chimpanzee named Julie first stuck a blade of grass into her ear and started a hot new craze among her cohort at the Chimfunshi Wildlife Orphanage, an entirely new group of chimps at the refuge have started doing the same thing.
"We were even more shocked that they were doing their own spin on this by also inserting the grass and sticks in a different orifice." The chimps, he says, have been putting blades of grass and sticks into their ears and anuses, and simply letting them dangle there for no apparent reason.
Now that's what I call a statement piece. Imagine what a hypebeast you have to be to load your ass up with blades of grass and sticks.
Oh, you thought you were cool because you're wearing an Alo hat and have your fanny pack going across your chest? June of 2025 called, and they said they want their look back. Time has passed you by, and now you're dressed like a dipshit. If you want to look hot as shit the rest of this summer then you need to go out and touch grass. Literally. Go to your nearest local park, rip out a few blades up grass, shove them up your ass, and toss a couple twigs up there for good measure as well.
What I need to know is if it's cool to have as many sticks and blades up grass up your hoop as possible. Like are the chimps with the most grass in their ass viewed as "influencers" amongst the other chimps? Does it reach a certain point where you look like a try-hard if you have too much up there? Where is that limit where it goes from being cool to being lame? I need to know more about this trend before I fully buy into it. But I'm really hoping it catches on everywhere.
P.S. -- It's not gay if everyone is doing it. Read that in a book one time.