The Long Dark of the Offseason

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So our watch begins.  The NBA is laid to rest in OKC, the Stanley Cup has once again found purchase in South Florida, now all that remains to us is regular season Major League Baseball.  The doldrums of Summer are officially here.  But, fret not dear reader! For the scarcity of summer, creates a veritable bounty come fall.  Like the man wandering the desert, when we finally set eyes upon that pig skin-oasis, that first sup of the football cup will taste all the sweeter for the length of time in which we were denied.  So take heart, my friends, and prepare yourself.  For before we know it, our Saturdays and Sundays will be filled with the bash and crash of pads, helmets and leather.  

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As we enter these heated, listless months, I beseech thee to beware the tantalizing grasp of complacency, say NO to the siren’s call of lackadaisicality.  For now is the time in which the groundwork will be laid in order to achieve glory come this Fall.  How prepared are you to answer a question about Arch Manning’s Heisman chances?  How studied are you in the quarterback hierarchy of the AFC North?  Are you equipped to answer a query about whom you believe will be the favorite to make the college football playoffs out of the Big 12? If not, once again, fret not! For now is the time to get into the proverbial football lab.  “But where do I start Maester Bob? There’s too much! It is overwhelming!” Shhhhhh, child, soothe thyself and let me anoint you my apprentice as I teach you the ways of the offseason.  

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First, let us narrow our focus.  Instead of thinking about the country as a whole, ruminate upon your favorite teams.   Do you know your team’s starting offensive line?  Do you know who the best player on your team is? Do you know what you believe the surprise position group of the season will be?  Do you know which group should keep you up at night? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then now is the time to get to work.  And once you have a grasp on your favorite CFB and NFL teams, then we shall begin to expand our horizons. 

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As we look outward; let us remind ourselves that LISTS are our friends.  After all, dear reader, we are but one man/woman, how could we possibly study all that is to be known across our vast American Football Empire?  As a remedy, let us rely on the work of the hivemind to start to form our opinions.  Load up your favorite search engine or machine learning system and start to ask the important questions.  Which coaches are on the hot seat in 2025?  Who has the most to prove this Fall?  Who’s most likely to win MVP/Heisman?  Is your favorite quarterback elite?  These are but a few points upon which to launch your research; other great options include team by team season win/loss totals, ranking the divisions/conferences, and any headline that involves the word Dark Horse.  The point is, that in the absence of games, lists THRIVE and they are always your preparatory ally.  

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If you do these things, you will be nearly ready for the autumnal onslaught of footbaw.  There remains but one final piece of the puzzle.  HYPE.  And what better way to get excited than to watch random players’ 2024 highlight packages?  I remember showing my 1 year old son Haynes King highlights in his crib to get him ready for Ga Tech vs Florida St in Ireland last year.  I remember drinking whiskey and watching Garrett Greene highlights and knowing I had found my online team in NCAA 25.   As we start to search, I would recommend that we put our thumb on the scale for diamonds in the rough; in order to impress our friends with our deep cut and nuanced football competency and knowledge.  

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Dear Reader! My how we’ve grown! Already I can feel myself pressing against the tightness of my jeans in anticipation of what lies ahead.  But, before we part, I have one more lesson to impart.  Remember, that at this point in the offseason your team’s reality is what you choose it to be.  Like Shrödinger’s Cat, no one can tell you if your team is bad or good, for that box has yet to be opened.  For instance, I have fully given myself over to the idea that Tyler Shough is going to be a rookie phenom and the New Orleans Saints will win the NFC South.  Is this a logical absurdity? To be sure, but what are the doldrums of summer if not a fertile garden for the insane.  So let us join hands, and approach this offseason with open hearts, and clear minds as we say with one voice  I LOVE FOOTBAW! AND I LOOK FORWARD TO FEASTING UPON THY’S BOUNTY!