Winter Is #Back: Dire Wolves Have Been Brought Back From Extinction By Scientists
USA TODAY- Colossal Biosciences, the genetic engineering company working to bring back the woolly mammoth, has actually already brought back one of its extinct Ice Age cohabitants: the dire wolf.
The Dallas, Texas-based biotech company revealed Monday the recent successful birth of three dire wolf puppies, a major step in proving the viability of Colossal's "de-extinction technologies" and its potential use in bringing back other species. The birth of the dire wolf pups marks the first successfully de-extincted animal, Colossal CEO and co-founder Ben Lamm said in a press release.
“Our team took DNA from a 13,000-year-old tooth and a 72,000-year-old skull and made healthy dire wolf puppies," Lamm said. "It was once said, ‘any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.’ Today, our team gets to unveil some of the magic they are working on and its broader impact on conservation.”
Two litters have led to a pair of male dire wolves, Romulus and Remus, now six months old, and Khaleesi, a female, born in January.
Hand up, I thought dire wolves were the fictional brainchild of that sicko George R.R. Martin until this morning when I saw this article. Turns out they were very real and very awesome.
About 25% larger than modern-day gray wolves, dire wolves had thicker, more muscular legs, more powerful shoulders, a wider head and snout with larger jaws and teeth. The dire wolf stood about 3½ feet tall and could be even longer than 6 feet and weigh up to 150 pounds.
In honor of the nerds that somehow brought back an extinct species before GRRM could finish the goddamn books, I feel we have to dust off this oldie but goodie gif.
I know that there are probably some people who are worried about dire wolves being brought back to a planet and wanting to take our place atop the food chain, a la the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. But has anybody read the paper lately? Humanity's time seems to be winding down into a spiral of chaos, so why not make that time a good time by playing some nostalgic hits by bringing back dire wolves, wolly mammoths, sabertooth tigers, and maybe an actual dino? Sure they may kill us. But we have heard the same things about machines forever and every time I turn around, I am hearing about all the new upgrades AI is getting.
So why not just embrace the chaos by creating a world that is essentially a real life Super Smash Bros. with humans, animals, robots, and whatever else may pop up? We can start with prehistoric predators being the first batch of mystery characters revealed, then bring out the aliens that everyone seems completely fine with existing, followed by any mythical creatures roaming the Earth like Nessy, Big Foot, or unicorns. And if they don't exist, the supernerds at Colossal Biosciences should be able to create them. I know it's scary in theory, but the news cycle will go from depressing to exciting reeeeeeeal quick is these guys can start cloning crazy shit.
P.S. It took every fiber of my nerdy being to not get angry at these mad scientists for naming their female dire wolf Arya or Sansa and instead chose Khaleesi. Khaleesi would've been the perfect name for the first female dragon they created, which you know is coming because this is the only timeline fucked up enough for a giant flying firebreathing lizard to be made by a private company.
P.P.S. I'm sure people are upset at Colossal Biosciences about playing God and creating the wooly mouse. But these motherfuckers are too damn cute to be mad at and I hope they create a bunch of cute/cool species to go alongside the occasional human-killing kind.
h/t SputterinBites