Don’t You Dare Question Danny Bernstein’s Dedication To Conservationism Or He Just Might Threaten You And Your Children
For those of us living in Chicago, long time fan of Barstool, Dan Bernstein, needs to introduction.
For the rest of yous wondering who the hell this (totally sane and rational) distinguished gentleman is, you might recall this slight mixup that happened last year between hothead Eddie and him.
As usual, Eddie showed no respect for not only his elder, but for a man who has paved the way in sports journalism and made it possible for all of us little baby birds begging for crumbs on the outer-reals of the sports media landscape, to essentially eat.
Dan Bernstein is the Al Capone of Chicago sports media. You can’t so much as take a shit at 670 The Score without his full authorization and him signing off on it.
When renegade journo punks like Eddie show blatant disregard and spit in his face like that, he’s going to react like a snapping turtle.
How can you blame the guy?
Referring to Dan Bernstein as simply, “Bernstein”?
Listen, I’ve known Eddie since the day he showed up at Greg Olson’s kickball tournament and bailed us out pitching when Dave put “in jail” for 3 innings, and I’ve loved him ever since. But just being impartial here, are you fucking kidding me man?
Show some class. You’re better than that.
(Sidebar- Lawrence Holmes is the man and a buddy of mine for a while. Watching him squirm while Bernstein ranted like this was one of the funniest things ever. Brought back instant memories or Mike Myers standing next to Kanye
(Sidebar to sidebar- the class act that Holmes is, talking with him after the incident, he never once badmouthed his partner and tried to play peacemaker the best he could. Really happy he landed on two feet in a much better spot after all this))
Obviously, that all lead to Dave sounding the horn and rallying all the different Stoolie nation’s armies together, under the Barstool banner, to wage war against Bernstein.
That war may have been shorter than the Persian Gulf Conflict, with Bernstein not even attempting to defend himself.
Instead, he threw his producers and social media team to the wolves, and shut down the phone lines for a week. Just buried his head in the sand, sang “La La La” to himself, and pretended everything was honky dory. Just like they teach you to do up at that fancy schmancy school in Evanston.
That lead to Dave doing what Dave does, and that’s adopt extreme measures to get to his enemy. He found a charity auction that Dan’s station The Score was running, and outbid everybody, by a wide margin, for the right to “guest produce” the Bernstein and Holmes Show for a day.
All for charity of course.
In a classic legacy media move, the cowards, and morons, that Audacy radio are, rather than oblige and own up to their part of the deal, they welched and Dave, Eddie, nor anybody from Barstool got their chance to confront Dan face to face, on his own turf.
(Sidebar- anybody with a brain in a struggling business would jump at an opportunity like this. Own your mistake, admit you’re a big baby who overreacted, and let your balls get busted. All the while opening yourself up to the exposure you and your dying program, station, and media vehicle as a whole, so desperately covet right now - the Barstool audience. The Portnoy/Barstool effect is no joke. Think I’m exaggerating? Look at how many careers and shows this company has launched and talent we’ve had poached from us. Just in the past 3-4 years alone. But I digress.)
Things died down after Dan played possum long enough, and Stoolies moved on.
The name Bernstein honestly hasn’t crossed anybody’s mind in Chicago in months until yesterday.
When this whole thing went down on Twitter.
An innocent fishing picture turned Bubba Sparxx Ugly very quickly.
As the resident “unhinged guy” at Barstool, my third or fourth personality told my others to “wait” before casting judgement or taking sides.
I gave ourself 24 hours to let things marinate before reaching out to as good an expert witness as you’re gonna find when it comes to anything wildlife related.
The one and only Barstool Outdoors Sportswoman of the world, Sydnie Wells.
So there you have it.
Sydnie is clearly as unqualified as they come and definitely has no idea what she’s talking about.
Maybe she can take some fishing classes at Northwestern or something one day when she gets older.
So once again, for Dan to be ridiculed on social media, nay, CHASTISED, and this clown trying to publicly humiliate him, all while Dan was just trying to flex a little showing off a bad ass pike he caught, what the fuck did every expect?
Did nobody learn a single thing from Walter Sobchek?
There are rules here.
Can’t stand the heat? Don’t come into the kitchen.
Don’t want your children threatened and your family’s address and social security numbers made public and shared to hundreds and hundreds of people? Then don’t fucking try to question Dan’s dedication to sparkle motion conservation.