I Am So Jealous Of The Gas Pump Expert I Will Never Sleep Until I'm As Good As Him

I saw this Jordie blog and my jaw dropped to the ground. I was looking like Barstool Nate my jaw was so close to the floor. I cannot believe this hero exists in the world and I'm tellin ya this now, I will not rest until I am as good as him at pumping gas.

And I gotta say, this game is a genius idea. The lay-up drill tic tac toe games, and guess what song players are humming are so played out. Lately the hottest thing has been full court putting competitions, but the future is pumping gas, and the Sacramento Kings are living in the year 2067.

If you pump your own gas, you know hitting on the exact dollar is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Sorry to New Jersey, Oregon, and EV nerds - the only perfectly timed pumps you'll know are in the bedroom. Boring. I'd much rather satisfy my OCD than cum. 

I'm excited landing on an even dollar amount when simply standing alone outside my car in the freezing cold. I can't imagine the feeling when you hit it in an arena with 17,000 people witnessing your greatness. The Kings picked a handful of random contestants out of the crowd, but this guy Tommy with the handle bar mustache is the perfect competitor for this game. If gas pumping was a professional sport, and I was scouting for the league, Tommy would be my first overall pick. The amount of gallons this man has pumped into a Ford F-150 are HOF numbers. Glad to see he probably won a gift card to go pump more gas. 

The best part about NBA League Pass is being able to watch what happens in the arena between quarters and during timeouts. Guys balancing 18 metal chairs on his face? Love it. I've been on record saying I might even love this more than I love watching basketball. Don't get me wrong, I love a good game, but I've seen everything that can happen in a basketball game, and the great ones are few and far between. Do I really want to watch the Bulls scrubs blow out the Pacers by 20? OR, do I want to watch a freak contort his body through a toilet seat for a cheap laugh? Neither are the greatest, but I can say the novelty of a guy clavicle deep in a toilet seat hasn't worn off yet. Hopefully the gas pumping game won't either.