How Much Money Did People Pay at Auction for Woj's Old Phones and Press Credentials?
WARNING: I will be using the first half of this blog to air personal grievances about Adrian "Woj" Wojnarowski. If you are only interested in how much money the psychopaths paid at auction for Woj's old news breaking phones, please skip ahead 8 paragraphs (past the screen shot of Woj being an asshole to Rico Bosco in the Twitter DM's).
Adrian "Woj" Wojnarowski, and news breaking media members of his ilk have such fascinating careers to me. They created an entire industry out of thin air. An industry that nobody asked for or needed. An industry that doesn't make anything new, or provide a unique service, or give us anything that wasn't already 100% readily available. It's an industry that if it disappeared overnight would not affect the sports landscape in the slightest. Somehow these guys convinced every professional sports organization across the country that any time a trade is made, or any time a team does anything remotely newsworthy, to text them first so they can be the ones to deliver the news. There's no reason the Los Angeles Lakers couldn't have tweeted the Luke Doncic trade themselves. Any literate person working for the Lakers would be qualified to do so. But instead, they let some guy named Shams do it first. Why? I don't know. That's just how things are done now.
I'm not saying the Woj's and Shams' and Schefter's of the world don't work hard. I think they genuinely have worked their asses off building relationships to get where they are today. Plus, they have to be available 24/7. They live their lives permanently glued to their phones on the off-chance Minnesota trades Joe Ingles to the Raptors in the wee hours of the night. They put a lot into their jobs. Which makes the whole thing even crazier. They dedicate their lives to something that brings zero value to the world beyond giving us trade news a few minutes quicker than if we waited for teams to break the news themselves. Honestly, they might even delay the process. Whoever from the Lakers texted the Luka Doncic trade details to Shams could have probably just typed it into Twitter directly and eliminated an entire step.
But companies like ESPN pay these guys millions of dollars. And they're celebrated like heroes every time the New York Knicks add a new big piece, and they're the ones who get to tell us about it. If you didn't know any better you'd think they brokered the deal themselves. But nope. They're $3M per year middlemen. It's an all-time racket being run in plain sight. I don't know how they managed to do it, but they did. Kudos to them.
So we've established I feel about the industry. But I don't automatically dislike these guys as people. I think Adam Schefter is great. He's got a bit of a personality. He contributes actual football knowledge across a wide variety of TV shows and podcasts. Shams has never done anything that would make me dislike him. Woj on the other hand... he just constantly did things that made me think, "Damn.. this guy sucks", and "Damn.. this guy really thinks he's critical to the fabric of the NBA doesn't he?"
Like when he would insist on spoiling each and every NBA Draft pick minutes before it was announced on stage. Everybody hated it. ESPN even told their reporters, "Hey reporters. Stop ruining the draft for people by revealing the picks. It's stupid and nobody likes it." So next year, instead of ruining the draft by tweeting "The Memphis Grizzlies will be selecting Jaren Jackson Jr."... since Woj still couldn't bear to not let the world know that he knew what the pick was before it was announced... he would tweet things like this.
He just couldn't help his gigantic ego. Just look at that smug stupid face. He thinks he's so important. On top of that, he used to dabble in the world of high school & college basketball. Woj would find out where a 17-year old high school basketball player was committing to college, then tweet out his commitment before the kid got to make the announcement himself. Before the kid even got to sit behind a table in front of his school and choose from a selection of hats. Something that kid has probably been looking forward to his entire life. Woj would just take his moment from him. He did it to Rutgers' Dylan Harper two years ago. It's borderline villainous.
And when Woj finally decided to hang up the phones, he announced to the world that he would be taking his unique talents to St. Bonaventure University to work as their Men's Basketball General Manager. In doing so, he released a retirement statement on par with what I'd expect LeBron James to release when he retires from basketball some day.
"I grew up the son of a factory worker…", "Time isn't in endless supply…", "- 30 -" (whatever the hell that means)… Calm down Woj. You broke news for a living. You were a middle man for trade details. You didn't make the NBA a better place. You just made it different for no reason at all other than to create a lucrative career for yourself. Which is great. But you're not that important. God damn it. Sorry, I could go on forever talking about how much Woj bothers me. But you get my point. Here's one more screenshot of Woj being a wrong asshole about Dan Hurley in a DM to Rico Bosco (Twitter, circa 1996). Then I promise I'll get to the auction stuff.
PHONE AUCTION STUFF STARTS HERE
If it wasn't already abundantly clear how highly Woj thought of himself, two weeks ago, he announced to the world that he would be auctioning off his old phones. The very phones he used to relay the details of NBA's biggest trades from the mouths of GM's to Twitter. Phones that have spent time in Woj's very own suit pockets. Touched his very own face. Have been in his very own shower. All to raise money for St. Bonaventure's men's basketball program.
Along with the phones, Woj auctioned off his game worn credentials to events like the 2023 All-Star Game, the 2023 NBA Draft, the 2024 NBA Finals (Woj's Last Finals), even his ESPN ID Badge. Certainly a chance to own a piece of Woj history would have people taking out second mortgages on their homes to support the Bonnies. By selflessly auctioning off old useless shit from a box in his basement, surely Woj would raise cartoonish, Scrooge McDuck amounts of money for his program.
Well the auction ended this week. Let's see what Woj's celebrity was able to do for St. Bonaventure. There were 12 Woj items in total up for grabs. 4 phones, 5 NBA credentials, 1 ESPN ID badge, and 2 "Woj Experiences" (dinner and video call). As curious as I am about how much money each individual item brought in, I'm even more curious as to who out there is spending their money on it. Unfortunately, at this point, we only have the answers to one of those questions.
Sans however much money the Woj Experiences brought in, the auction raised $22,675 for Saint Bonaventure Basketball. I'm guessing with the experiences, it's closer to $25,000 (unless he's planning on multiple video calls and dinners per week for the rest of the foreseeable future, then maybe they're pushing $30,000). So in the end, Woj's celebrity memorabilia raised enough money to get maybe one season out of an injury prone, 2-star prospect. Which is about what I'd have guessed. But something tells me Woj isn't going to be thrilled with that number.
Hopefully the people who purchased these phones and credentials will reveal themselves over the coming weeks. How many of the items do you think were purchased by people as a joke? I'm thinking about half. I legitimately wouldn't be surprised if sometime next week, Big Cat shows up to the office and reveals that he bought out the entire auction.
It would shocking if Big Cat didn't purchase at least 1 piece of memorabilia. I'd set the O/U at 1.5.
Woj's ESPN ID badge has Darren Rovell's tiny hands all over it. It reeks of Darren. For one, you know Darren still feels some type of way about ESPN letting him go. And you know Darren fancies himself a hysterical person. He loves a good internet troll. The problem is, he's really bad at it. For example, one time he created a fake Twitter account for Big Cat's new born child. He thought it would have the internet in stitches. But when he tweeted from the account, the only responses he got were, "You're weird as shit dude". Giving Woj $5,000 for his ESPN ID badge as part of a not-very-well thought out internet troll could not be more perfectly on brand for Darren Rovell.
When it comes to the Paul George/Kawhi Leonard phone that sold for $5,000. I'm almost positive Woj purchased that item himself. I'm damn near certain of it. Without this $5,000 sale, he wouldn't have even hit the $20k mark. I would actually be surprised if this is the only item Woj purchased himself. I'm not sure what he thought he would raise. That number seems expected to me. But I bet Woj had his eyes set on six-figures. I bet he though that Covid phone was going to rip. But when he saw it receive a high bid of $3,500 from a Dan Katz in Chicago, Illinois, he thought to himself, "Fuck… I can't have the most expensive phone in my auction be sold for a Barstool Sports bit." Then threw $5,000 at his stupid Paul George phone to save face. Maybe that would get the ball rolling (it didn't).
In Woj's defense, if those items are just sitting around his house doing nothing, then why not raise a little money for your school? I suppose it didn't hurt anything. But for the Bonnies sake, I hope Woj has a few more tricks up his sleeve than that. I hope this wasn't his big surprise, ace-in-the-hole money making venture for the season. Even Woj's ego can't be inflated to the point the he thinks he can build a basketball program on the back his own fame… I'm sure it's not…