The Hospital Celtics Went Belt To Ass Again, This Time Burying The Process With Ease

Brian Fluharty. Getty Images.

On Wednesday night, we had perhaps one of the truest "Hospital Celtics" matchups with the Celts down 3 starters against a Blazers team that had been among the best teams in the league since around mid February. What we saw that night was not only an ass whooping, but a historic ass whooping both in terms of franchise and NBA history. It was tremendous. 

On Thursday night, the idea of getting the "Hospital Celtics" went up a level, this time the Celtics being without 5 rotation players against the depleted, defeated, and injured Sixers. This wasn't the same Sixers team that the Celts just blew out by 20+ when Embiid/George/Maxey played a few weeks ago, and it certainly wasn't the same Celtics team considering Jaylen/KP/Jrue/Hauser/Horford all sat as well. I mean that group of 5 alone might be a top 4 seed in the East.

So instead, we got the Tatum led Hospital Celtics in their truest form, and you'll never believe this……but it was another ass whooping. 

To my brain, while I understand these games are only just 1 win and the most recent one came against a broken franchise with no future, at the same time there's something about Hospital Celtics wins that feel more like 1.5 wins. I don't know how else to explain it. They play hard, they play free, they dominate, it doesn't matter who they face, the Hospital Celtics get the job done. Not only do I respect the shit out of it, it's a fantastic product to watch.

Given where the Celts are in their season and what is on the horizon, this is how Joe and the team should approach the rest of the season. The 2 seed is pretty much a lock after the Knicks lost last night, the 1 seed isn't happening, so keep guys fresh, be extra cautious in terms of recovery, and let the Hospital Celtics cook. We're reaching the part of the year where the tanking teams are punting games, so let's see more of how the depth of this team looks so they can feel confident heading into the postseason. God forbid something were to happen, at least they'll have had reps against NBA competition to prepare.

Listen I get it, beating up on a dumpster fire version of the Sixers is something that not only every team in the NBA can do, but something that the over 40 men's league at your local JCC as probably do as well. They stink. But that doesn't mean it won't always be fun getting some licks in against The Process, whatever the new version it is they decide to throw out there. The thing is, there have just been so many variations it's hard to keep track. They're all awful, but that sounds like a them problem not a me problem.

Let's begin.

The Good

- After finally taking a rest day for the first time since 12/23, once we learned Tatum was active for this game and he had the opportunity to go up against fringe NBA players, I think we all knew what that meant. Sure he was "playing" but it was going to be an early night for him. Nothing like built in rests days in games you're actually playing in, and it didn't take long for Tatum to assert his dominance and set the tone right from the jump

Just 31 minutes in this win which I love, an efficient 14-23 (5-11) and a +19, and once again another massive scoring night all without getting to the FT line. There are ethical hoopers, and then there's Jayson Tatum. It really is remarkable how little he gets to the FT line, especially with how aggressive he's been lately. It's not like he's not driving to the rim or getting into the paint, he's simply just not getting even close to an even whistle. 

Since 2/20, or his last 7 games, Tatum is taking just 4.3 FTA a game and averaging a fairly decent 26.1 points a night. That would be 10th in the NBA during that stretch, and his 4.3 FTA? The lowest of any player in the top 10. Now I know what you're thinking, it's because he shoots all 3s!

Wrong.

Of those top 10 scorers since 2/20, Tatum is 7th in 3PA. Harden, Steph, Ant, Luka all take more 3PA per game and all take WAY more FTA per game. 

Harden: 11 3PA / 8.9 FTA

Curry: 11 3PA / 5.0 FTA

Ant: 10.3 3PA  7.3 FTA

Luka: 10.1 3PA / 10.1 FTA

Jayson Tatum: 9.7 3PA / 4.3 FTA

So what gives? Don't tell me it's because of his shot profile and he takes too many 3s so that's why he's not getting FTA. I imagine you can read the numbers above. 

Aside from his horrific whistle, it was mostly another Tatum masterclass. You could tell he knew right away that the collection of suck the Sixers were throwing out there had zero chance of staying in front, whether that was try hard Kelly Oubre Jr or either of their slow footed centers/big men. If we're being honest, I'm not sure Tatum even broke a sweat. 

For me, this was the exact performance I wanted to see. He looked fresh after a day of rest, he threw the punches early to build the lead, and he didn't play a second in the 4th quarter. 

10 out of 10, no notes. 

- At this point I think we're all used to seeing Tatum torment the Sixers and their fans, so really the story of this game was about the bench, more specifically the deep bench. Will we tell our grandkids about the time we witnessed Baylor Scheierman have the best night of his NBA career?

Probably not, but boy did we ALL need to see something like this. I am fully ready to admit, my brain was going to dangerous places watching Baylor carve up the Sixers in this game. 

15/3/3 on 5-10 (3-7) with 0 TOs and a +18 in his 29 minutes, even if this was a glorified G-League game it was still awesome to see Baylor finally make a shot. It was almost as if he just needed to see one finally drop and then everything started clicking, which is to be expected. A majority of the issues around Baylor's previous stints was that he just didn't look like a player who was playing with confidence. Normal rookie stuff. 

But last night? I mean………………

……………..that was Lefty Luka.

OK, that may be insane to say, but also how my brain felt in the moment. The pace that he plays with, the magnet ball from deep, that little midrange pull up that was pure, the transition hustle play, I'll be honest, I didn't know he had this in him. I think we were all waiting to see even a glimpse of whatever it is Brad saw in Baylor on Draft Night, and this was it. 

Sure, the bar is literally below the floor, but so what? This is the 15th guy. If you're telling me he can now be playable in these garbage end of season games against bad teams looking to lose, I'll take it! Those are the reps that can only help. 

Aside from his offense, the defense wasn't all that bad either! Granted it came against guys who are barely NBA players, but Baylor is barely an NBA player right now so whatever. All I'm looking for at this point from him is just signs of progress for the future. For all we know, this was the type of performance that changes his confidence forever that he can actually hang at this level, now we just need to see it happen consistently.

- While it was maybe a little unrealistic to think Payton Pritchard would have another 40 ball with 10 3s, I suppose we'll just gave to settle for 19/4/6/2 on 6-13 (4-8) in his 32 minutes.

How much of a heater is Payton Pritchard on right now? Over his last 15 games, he's shooting 44.5% from deep on 8.5 3PA a game. 

Of ALL players in the NBA who are taking at least that many 3s, how many would you say are shooting a better percentage? 

The answer is 2. Malik Beasley (45.2% on 10.3 3PA) and Derrick White (45.4% on 9.4 3PA)

Whoever is still under the impression that the 6MOY race is still going on, don't be an idiot. This thing is a wrap. It was probably a wrap before these last 2 games, but it's definitely a wrap now. 

As I was watching him last night, I couldn't help but think that if there's one thing I need THIS version of Pritchard to add to his game, it's the Isaiah Thomas shoulder hesitation dribble. Now that Payton is a legit threat to attack and finish at the rim, it is time he fully unleashes this move. He's ready

With how fast Pritchard is, think of how effective this hesitation can be for him. He does some variations of it from time to time, but I need him to go all in. We all saw what it did for Isaiah, it helped him have one of the greatest offensive seasons in NBA history (fact, not opinion). Right now Pritchard has mastered driving hard to the rim, using his shoulder and strength to create space, and then finish off too feet. I would like him to introduce this move simply to help not be predictable on his drives. His center of gravity is super low just like Isaiah, he's got the perfect quick twitch skill to dominate with this move, and teams are so worried about his pull up 3 that he'll be able to blow by whoever is in front of him if he decides to use it.

The one thing I didn't exactly love with Pritchard's night is Joe keeping him on the floor so late. We are NOT at the point of the season where top 9 rotation guys should be on the floor with 4 minutes to go in a blowout against a dogshit team. I know Pritchard is a basketball pyscho who never wants to come out, but I need Joe to be better and protect these guys from themselves. Someone like Pritchard is too important. 

- It had been a while since we'd seen it, but Torrey Craig's performance is exactly what his new role calls for. In my opinion, this may have been his best all around performance as a Celtic

This is the thing about this role. There isn't going to be continuity in playing time or anything like that, but the role requires you to come in, defend, rebound, and make your open 3s. That's it. The shooting is by far the most important, so it was great to see Craig bury both of his attempts while also doing everything else.

At the same time, he's a buyout guy for a reason. There are going to be ups and downs in terms of consistency, but on a night where everyone on the bench was fantastic, it was awesome to see Craig be part of that group. 

I would also say the same thing about Jordan Walsh's minutes. He once again played with great energy, solid defense, and he made his open 3. Given we are now at the part of the season where Joe should be leaning more on these guys, I have to think seeing them all play well will only give him more confidence to use these lineups down the stretch.

Baylor, Walsh, Craig all playing well also allows you to be more cautious with injuries/recovery. Sit Hauser for a few games longer if you have to. Give the Jays an off night here and there. Don't rush Jrue back. That's the benefit of the deep bench playing well, so you may as well utilize it.

- It wasn't just the wings either, the double bigs also had their way with the Sixers in this game. Kornet was consistently awesome like he always is, and while the Queta minutes were a rollercoaster, man were the highs incredible to watch. The lows? A disaster. But those highs? Buddy…

I'm sorry this had to come against Yabu, but this was the fate he chose. While I enjoy the Sixers being a disaster, I do feel for Yabu. He's had an awesome year and has solidified himself as a legit NBA player, he just deserves better than the Sixers stink.

I will say I also enjoy this new development where everyone on the Celts suddenly doesn't suck ass at throwing lobs. Remember the years where it was pretty much only Smart who could consistently do it? Now everywhere you look it's a different Celtic throwing a perfect lob to Kornet/Queta out of the P&R or dribble drives. I guess this is how 99.9% of the other NBA teams have been living these last few years and I can't lie, it's pretty nice.

- Ho hum, just another example of Mazzulla Ball being dominant. A casual 123 points 50/39% splits and 19 3PM with 32 AST…..from the deep bench.

Let's just think about this for a second. 

The normal Celtics throw up a game like this all the time. To be getting the exact same production while missing 5 of your top 9 is simply ridiculous. All while Tatum only played 3 quarters I might add. 

People understand this isn't normal right? Like, with most teams once you are forced to play this much of your deep bench, there's usually a drop off. But with this team? The wagon rolls on. You watched the basketball brain of Brad Stevens at work, and this was yet another example of his inability to miss.

The Bad

- Look, the Celts were up by as many as 30 points, there were 0 lead changes and only 1 tie. This was about as vintage of a wire to wire ass kicking as you're going to possibly find in the NBA. There really wasn't all that much to complain about if we're being honest, but that doesn't mean there weren't things that I found annoying.

For example, allowed 18 OREB (11 2nd chance points) is just way too many. Especially when you're playing double bigs at times. It obviously didn't matter in this game, but it will matter against any other team in the league who has an actual pulse. 

If there's one thing that gets you into trouble, it's allowing extra possessions. Finishing defensive possessions cleanly will always be of the utmost importance, especially once we get into the playoffs. It feels like this has been a bit of an issue as of late, and I'll point to the 4th quarter against CLE as an example of how it can bury you against good teams.

You HAVE to rebound.

- Some fantastic cardio work by Drew Peterson in his 15 minutes which is cool and all for him in an effort to stay in shape, but not so cool for the rest of us who were interested in seeing him put up literally any sort of positive production. He was the only Celtic to take a shot in this game and not score, which seems impossible given his amount of clean looks and the fact that the Sixers couldn't guard for shit.

- Maybe I'm just too much of an old now, but I can't get behind these City neon jerseys. I've tried, but I can't do it. ESPECIALLY at home. I get they are pitched to the new generation and younger fans, but I hate them and I will not apologize for it.

- Poor Derrick White. His life just got way more annoying having to go to the dentist and finally replace his temporary teeth after they once again got knocked out last night

and frankly that whole experience sounds miserable. It's also why I don't even really care how he shot the ball after losing his teeth and coming back, and I'll just remind you that the last time something like this happened, the Celtics won the title.

The Ugly

- We all saw Lonnie Walker IV's performance coming correct? Easily the most predictable performance in the history of basketball. You knew there was going to be a random Sixers who was automatic from 3 after being dogshit from 3 all year, and of course it was Lonnie and his 5-7 from deep.

For the most part he hadn't hit a single shot as a Sixers before last night, which is why it's both funny and annoying as fuck. Every game it feels like it's some random, and it did sting a little bit to see Lonnie carving people up knowing that it was purely a financial reason as to why he's not on the Celtics.

It's fine, they're doing just fine without him, but you have to admit that was annoying as hell.

We now turn the page to what is easily going to be one of the biggest games on the NBA Calendar with the Lakers coming to town tomorrow night. Winners of 8 straight, the media darlings of the league, all I ask for is that everyone is healthy on both sides and the whistle is even. Let the players decide the game. Given what took place the first time these two teams played, I need the Celts to respond like they have all year.