Texas Lieutenant Governor Wants to Rename 'New York Strip Steak' To 'Texas Strip Steak'

Newsweek - Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick has called for the New York strip, a cut of beef from the short loin of a cow, to be renamed the "Texas strip" to support ranchers across the state.

Patrick claimed the proposal had been backed by the Texas Cattle Feeders and Cattle Raisers (TCFCR) and said a resolution to this effect would be put before the Texas Senate.

If you had cuts of meat on your "What we will rename to save America next?" bingo card, then congratulations. Go ahead and cross off your square. The liberal elitist New York Strip is OUT. Texas Strip Steaks are IN.

When Donald Trump first renamed the water, we all placed our bets on what America would rename next. Most people had their money on New Mexico. New America was the logical follow up to the Gulf of America. But against all odds, New Mexico is still standing. We did, however, rename the largest mountain in America back to Mount McKinley. I had no idea it ever changed in the first place. I could have sworn Denali and Mount McKinley were different mountains entirely. I'm now reading that we changed Fort Liberty back to Fort Bragg. Again, I never knew Fort Bragg was changed in the first place. I also read that changing Fort Bragg to Fort Liberty cost our government over $6 million. Sweet. I guess new signs are expensive. But hopefully they saved the old ones, because Fort Bragg is Fort Bragg again. Fort Liberty didn't last two years. 

Personally, and I apologize for this scorching hot take, but I can't help but as if our elected officials spend a little too much time worrying about what we call things. There must be more pressing, more consequential issues that could be addressed. I especially don't understand how titles of steaks in particular could fall under a Texas political officials' purview. At least with bodies of water, mountain ranges, and military forts, I can see why it would be on the U.S. government to assign them an official title. It baffles me that people care about them as much as they do, but I get why our government would have naming rights. 

But with steaks... if you want to call to the cut of beef from the short loin of a steer a "Texas Strip Steak"... then just do it. Nobody put a gun to anyone's head and told them it must be called a New York Strip. People call it a New York Strip because an old steakhouse in Manhattan put 'New York Strip Steak' on their menu in 1837, and the rest of the country decided to roll with it. It wasn't dubbed the New York Strip by a New York born president who strongly believed New York City should be the face of steaks in America. The name just kinda stuck. And I imagine nobody thought twice about it, because it was the 1800's, and people were more concerned with trying to not die from a mild flu than respecting the art of cattle ranching.

Honestly, if you're a cattle rancher in Texas, wouldn't some politician making a  show out of a Texas Strip Steak rebrand be kind of insulting? I don't know a whole lot about the cattle ranching industry, but I know they work a hard, blue-collar job. I bet they're outside ranching their asses off in the hot sun from dusk til dawn. And I bet they do it for significantly less money than a lot of people who work half as many hours doing jobs that are significantly less important make. So when your lieutenant governor comes along and pats you on the head saying, "Great work gentleman. You know what I'm going to do to reward you for putting food on all of our tables? I'm going to rename a cut of meat after the state you live in." 

I don't want to speak for cattle ranchers. I don't know the first thing about the cattle ranching industry. But there simply must be other things cattle ranchers would prefer their elected officials do for them. And if not... if every other aspect of their job, and everything about the cattle ranching industry as a whole is perfectly amazing... then the cattle ranchers probably don't need to be addressed at all. Shift your attention to other industries who could use some actual government assistance, instead of patronizing cattle ranchers and using them as a political prop. 

I'm really not trying to be politically biased with this either. Liberal politicians do the same self-serving shit. The amount of politicians who thought they were heroes because they recognized other people's pronouns. It was ridiculous. If you're a person who's actually wants to be a champion for trans-rights, using they/them is the most bare minimum thing you can do as a politician. But there is SO MUCH emphasis put on it. From pronouns, to gulfs, to steaks, it's crazy that politicians concern themselves with titles to the extent they do. To me, it seems like a cheap trick they use to make the people they serve believe that they're working hard for them, instead of actually working hard for them by coming up with creative solutions that addressing any real-life problems their people might be facing. 

But it fucking works. People eat it up. There are a shocking amount of American's out there who will read that Texas Strip Steak headline, or will see a politician include pronouns in their BlueSky bio and think, "This is amazing. This politician gets it. He clearly has my best interest at heart", without knowing a single additional thing about what they've accomplished while in office.

If I had to play devil's advocate to myself, I will say, I suppose changing the name of something doesn't take a politician all that much time. I assume (I hope) Dan Patrick won't be spending 20 hours a week for the next three months on this "concurrent resolution". And just because I couldn't care less if you called the 'Gulf of America' the 'Gulf of Gay Porn', doesn't mean it doesn't matter to other people. I guess there's an argument to be made that it's good for American morale? Or something like that? Honestly, that concept sounds genuinely insane to me. But I'm not right about everything. There are plenty things people care about that I just can't relate to.

It absolutely does make more sense for a cut of steak to be named after Texas than New York, it's just wild how that's become so much of what politics is today. It's wild how much people care about titles, and it's wild how much something that seems so phenomenally inconsequential manages to divide people so much. America has lost their damn minds over titles. Now I'm losing my damn mind over people who are losing their damn minds. What a world. I look forward to enjoying my first Texas Strip Steak someday.