Now That The Craziness Surrounding Montoya from Spanish "Temptation Island" Has Died Down, I've Got To Ask, How Wasn't The Underwater Blowjob The Thing Most Talked About From That Show?

By now everybody's seen the clip above. 

Karim was on it from the jump, almost even before it went crazy in the socials in the US- 

Team Barstool was out to a pretty nice lead in terms of the viral relay race thanks to Karim and his Spanish ties.

Then Reags took the baton and ran the next two legs of the relay. Yes, I say two legs because this happened again not just twice, but THRICE. 

You heard correct. 

Our man Montoya had to sit there and watch his girlfriend get fucked like a jackrabbit, in front of his boys, on a crystal-clear, 4k, 55-inch screen. 

As a man who's ever been cheated on, you had to feel for the guy. 

It's hard enough stumbling across the truth in the privacy of your own glass case of emotion. 

Imagine having to witness that in front of a television camera surrounded by a bunch of your hornball reality tv castmates?

Not for the faint of heart. 

But the torment didn't stop there. No, Spanish reality tv producers are some really sick bastards. They decided to run the train-running back for poor Montoya to watch.

They wanted to break the man. And they did just that. 

Reags was once again on it. 

He did a fine job covering it and all, except he blogged it from the perspective of a happily married man. Not as one of us guys out here navigating the minefield of single-dating life. Where we're fighting for our fucking lives. 

Montoya is pretty much every guy out there today not settled down with a content and loyal woman. 

These chicks out there are constantly looking for the next best thing. An upgrade. Whatever you want to call it. The grass is forever greener on the other side of the street, and it's never their fault they don't water their own lawn. It's yours. 

And they don't care if you're in the room next door. When that "next best thing" gives them the signal, it's like you don't even exist anymore. 

(Editor's note: Dante needs a lot of therapy)

So far be it from me to cast judgement on Montoya for doing what any sane man with the smallest shred of pride left in his soul would do in this situation- and that's finding the nearest slam pig and go hogging. 

Which is exactly what he did. 

(Sidebar - only in a female brain could one conjure up the self-pity necessary to break down in tears and smear your mascara all over your face like Steve Lattimer from The Program because you watched your boyfriend fuck a six after you fucked another dude ON CAMERA for him to see. Several times.)

Anyway, I wrote all of that to catch everybody up and set the stage for my take on this whole Temptation Island Spain circus. 

For as wild a show as it is, and for how crazy and crazier the clips were getting these last couple weeks on twitter, I am flabbergasted that the one I found the most wild/crazy/preposterous/impressive was barely a blip on people's radars. 

And that was the one where a very attractive contestant on the show was subjected to watching her boyfriend catch a blowjob from another girl. UNDER WATER.

Honestly, using a dick as a snorkel is a feat of strength I thought was only possessed by the true greats, like Lisa Ann or Holly Halston. And shone on the pages of Pornhub or youjizz. Not by some random wannabe reality tv star on a cable television show in Spain. 

This picture right here is worth a thousand words. And says it all. 

That's a guy who's not only receiving some good head (we all know head is like pizza. Even when its sloppy and lacks flavor to the point of sawdust, it's still pizza/head), BUT that man knows he is experiencing a fantasy very few men can claim to have shared. 

In all honesty, it's probably not even that great. 

But it's more about the prestige in this case. 

That's a guy who knows he's getting an underwater blowjob on a huge tv show watched by millions, and he'll forever be remembered. 

Like Jonathan Toews walking into any steakhouse in Chicago, ever, if there are good and decent men in Spain, he will never pay for another meal in his life. 

Heroes get remembered… but