Natural Selection At Its Finest: Idiot Australian Influencer Knocked Out Cold, Hospitalized After Attempting To Run Through 1,000 Strips Of Duct Tape

I always hate to criticize another man's choices after the fact, because hindsight is 20/20. But me personally, I wouldn't have made the jump from 100 strips of duct tape to 1000. I appreciate Lil Golo's commitment to the 10x lifestyle. Grant Cardone would be proud. I can tell by the colossal Call of Duty tattoo on his rock hard abs, his two-foot long shorts strings, and the incredible height of his hair cones, that we're dealing with an exceptionally extreme Australian here. If you asked ChatGPT, "What if a Monster Energy flat bill were a person?", it would spit out a picture of Lil Golo. 

Lil Golo's number one problem here (aside from a self-destructive amount of confidence) is a fundamental misunderstanding of how a human body should break through a barrier. This is a man who never learned how to lay a proper body check, or lead with his shoulder to make an open field tackle. You'll see on his first attempt, his head and shoulder make contact with the tape almost simultaneously. 

And look at his lower half. He's not running through the point of impact. His legs are nearly buckled as he begins to leave his feet at the point of impact. That's a 15-yard penalty every time, and possible ejection. He's attempting to explode upwards as opposed to accelerating through the tape. But to his credit, he wasn't deterred. Despite a definite concussion, he hopped right back up for another go. Now that he's loosened things up a bit, surely he'll learn from his mistakes, his body will burst through the 1,000 strips of duct tape, and he'll be ready to take on 10,000.

Aw damn. Credit where credit is due, he kept his feet moving. There was zero letting up when he reached his target. Unfortunately, he removed his shoulder from the equation entirely, and absorbed the full stress of the hit with his head and neck. In his defense, I can see how a person in his position it would be tempted to lead with the massive horns growing out of his skull. But as much as Lil Golo may identify as a charging rhinoceros on the inside, and as rock solid as his hair is by hair standards, it's not nearly hard enough to pierce through duct tape. Hence concussion number two and the ensuing ambulance ride to the hospital. 

Now I'm sure some people reading this would say, "The reason people continue doing idiotic things like this is because websites like Barstool Sports keep giving them attention."

That is absolutely correct. It's our duty to do so. This is the type of behavior we need to be encouraging. Frankly, there are too many humans in this world. Natural selection is no longer able to keep pace with modern scientific advances. Things like bike helmets, seat belts, vaccines, and anti-smoking propaganda have resulted in too many people being alive at once. And now that our government is trying to eliminate female pilots, things are about to get even worse. We need to start giving stupid people a nudge. There are people who will watch a video such as this and react with, "You mean to tell me if I risk my life doing something reckless I might get posted by THE Barstool Sports?!"

Yes. You very well might. With all due respect, those are the people we should be pushing in the right direction. Sometimes natural selection needs an assist. That why one time, apropos of nothing, I decided to make content by eating a tiny morsel of dog shit on camera. I certainly wasn't having a crisis. It had nothing to do with me being in a drunken spiral. That's simply what I wanted people to think. It was a long-con population control play. Nothing more, nothing less. If that video encouraged even just one person to make a bad, potentially life-threatening decision, then I've done my job. I can sleep soundly knowing what I did for content that night was for the good of humanity. You're welcome.