Make America Sexy Again! Carl's Jr. Brought Back It's Bikini Super Bowl Ad Everybody Loved, This Time Featuring Alix Earle

We are so fuckin back baby!!! 

I honestly thought it was going to take a couple of years. Maybe even this summer, if we were lucky, but low-and-behold, it's only fucking February and America is back being unafraid to acknowledge that hot women should be celebrated. Not hidden away and guilt-tripped. Just like we glorify and worship morons with God given, superhuman athletic talent, we should do the same for those of us who were dealt a full house in the looks department. 

That used to be the norm around these parts. 

Carl's Jr. was no stranger to the first commandment in the Marketing 101 textbook: SEX SELLS. 

They were showcasing hot chicks mowing down their mid burgers for decades.

Somewhere, we lost our way. 

But I'm glad we found it. 

And we owe Carl's Jr. a shit ton of thanks for showing us the way back. 

I don't want to see fat slobs run up and down a basketball court chucking up air balls and having heart attacks. I want to watch the world's greatest specimens do things the other 99.9% of us humans could only dream of. And just like I don't want to see that on a basketball court, I also don't want to see ugly people shove food, especially fast food, in their mouths. Keep them in the Book of Freaks where they belong. 

Show us hot chicks doing pretty much anything, and we will watch every time. That's not my opinion. It's fact. It's a recipe that's worked since the dawn of man. People (and our editors) forget, it's how Dave built this great website.

As for Alix Earle? Wouldn't have been my first choice if we're being honest. But beggars can't be choosers and I'll happily take what we got. 

Here's the full thing. 

Now let's bring back the Bud "Real Men of Genius" commercials and the Coors Light Twins commercials and we'll be cooking with gas.

p.s. - here you go