Top 5 People I Want To See On The Next Season Of Surviving Barstool
After what feels like 8 months, Surviving Barstool came to an end last night. They laughed, they cried, they cried some more, they cried even more, they continued crying, they bawled, they sobbed, they sobbed some more, and they cried, before a winner was crowed and Ria walked away with 250,000 well earned dollars. Millions (literally) of people watched the show, making it a smash hit. Credit to the cast and the crew who worked tirelessly to put out an incredible product.
But now it's time to look ahead to the next season. Seeing as this season tore apart friendships, put people in therapy, and has people contemplating suicide, people should be very excited to sign up for next season! No, all things considered, I think social media is WAY too hard on the contestants. Reality shows with cameras in your face 24 hours a day will show you people's lowest moments and I think it's not fair to judge people based on that. But nevertheless, the show must go on! Hopefully there is another season, and these are my top 5 people I DEMAND be in the show:
2) Dante The Don
This show needs more sound minds. Needs some mentally stable contestants to balance out the crazy. That's why it needs Dante the Don. Nobody has a more level head than this guy. I think it's egregious he hasn't been on any of the shows yet. According to him, it's because Gaz and Dave are too scared of him.
I agree with the Don! That's a guy who is more than happy grinding away in the shadows, but I think it's time for him to emerge and be on Surviving. We want the Don or we riot!
3) Big Cat
I doubt Big Cat will ever do the game again. But hear me out- we need him on the show. The first time he did the show he was voted out in 3 hours after not trying at all. Probably the worst showing you'll ever see. And then this season he came in with a different mindset, to play the game hard and try and win. I heard he even got coaching from a previous winner! And he actually played a good game- but the mental aspect of it murdered him. He couldn't handle the thought of lying to friends, voting out friends, etc. It turned him into a quitter and the ensuing spiral afterwards and the beef with Kirk, etc. So that's why I want Big Cat back for a 3rd go-around. He clearly understands how to play the game, and if he can get to the point where he can play the game hard and ruthlessly, that would be the next step of the Big Cat playing Survivor evolution. Like a god damn Animorphs going to his final form. Again, I highly doubt he would ever play again…but maybe?????
4) Jon Gruden
Coach Gruden is the absolute MAN. Think about the coolest guy you know and multiply that by 10, and you still haven't even gotten close to how awesome Coach is. You ever been around guys that just have "it"? That aura? That's Coach. I think if he watched a few seasons of Survivor not only would he love it but he'd be obsessed with it. There's definitely similarities between calling a GTO football game and playing a GTO Survivor game, and I think Coach will recognize that and run with it. Plus, the entertainment value he brings, obviously. I know I'm doing tricks on it rn, the glazing is crazy, etc, but that's just my honest thoughts so I will NOT apologize! Coach gotta be on the next season no matter what.
5) Hannah Cook
Hahahahahahaaha no, I'm totally kidding.
5) Frankie Borrelli
Frankie is a crazy person. Not in the Kirk way, but in his own unique psychopath way. He's endearing as hell, but he also used to sneak into the Islanders locker room and try on the players' shoes. That's the sort of psychopath Frankie is. He would be GREAT on Surviving Barstool. He's kind, he's likable, he's friends with mostly everyone…but he's also born and bred Long Island and will cut your throat when you're not looking. I have no idea what sort of game he would play, it would probably be unlike anything we've ever seen. I think Borrelli is a no-brainer for the next season. Shit, put Riggs on the other tribe and just let them cook. Fireworks city.
5) Boston Rob
CBS Photo Archive. Getty Images.Boston Rob, the OG Survivor GOAT. You can't tell the story of Survivor without mentioning the godfather himself. I think next season should be a mix of Barstool personalities and Barstool-adjacent celebrities/athletes. And who wouldn't want to see Boston Rob completely mind-fucking Dante the Don? And Imagine if he cut Tommy Smokes' throat?
Oh yeah, Tommy is already cooked. Need it so bad.
So that's my top 5. Obviously there are a bunch of players that I would love to see back as well, guys like Dave and Biz of course, and KB, Nick, and Francis. KB high key would be fantastic at the game play, a real chance to win in my opinion.
The possibilities are endless. Thanks to everyone who tuned in to this season, and hopefully there's a next!
PS: I can't believe I forgot, but Ben Mintz is my 1:1 to be on every reality show moving forward. He should be a free space. A shoe-in. A no-brainer. He has no chance of winning, but his laughs per minute are through the roof.
Every show needs comedic relief. When 1 contestant is threatening to blow someone else's house up, we need a Ben Mintz to ground us and remind us it's not that serious.
PS: Well fuck. I published this blog and 3 seconds later Dave tweeted this:
Add Fred Smoot. Funniest guy ever.