China Is Allegedly Considering Selling Tik Tok To Elon Musk

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CNBC - The Chinese government is considering a plan that would have Elon Musk acquire TikTok’s U.S. operations to keep the app from being effectively banned, Bloomberg News reported on Monday.

The contingency plan is one of several options China is exploring as the U.S. Supreme Court determines whether to uphold a law that calls for China-based ByteDance to divest TikTok’s U.S. business by Jan. 19, the report said, citing anonymous sources.

After that deadline, third-party Internet service providers would be penalized for supporting TikTok’s operations in the country.

Under the plan, Musk would oversee both X, which he currently owns, and TikTok’s U.S. business, Bloomberg said. However, Chinese government officials haven’t yet decided on whether it would proceed, the report said, noting that the plan is still preliminary.

It’s unclear whether ByteDance knows about the Chinese government’s plans and TikTok and Musk’s involvement in the discussions, the report said. Senior Chinese officials are debating contingency plans involving TikTok’s future in the U.S. as part of larger discussions about working with President-elect Donald Trump, the report added.

A TikTok spokesperson said in an email to CNBC, “We can’t be expected to comment on pure fiction.” X didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.

Well wouldn't this just be perfect? 

Apparently the rumor mill (thank you, Bloomberg) is churning out a doozy this week: Elon Musk might buy TikTok’s U.S. operations.

The rocket-launching, tweet-typing, CEO-of-fuckin-everything Elon Musk. Because obviously, the perfect solution to a supposed national security crisis is to hand the keys from ByteDance to an American billionaire who’s, shall we say, polarizing?

The Supreme Court’s currently deciding whether to uphold a law that calls for ByteDance to divest TikTok’s U.S. business by January 19. If that doesn’t happen, third-party internet service providers could face penalties for supporting TikTok operations

But the Chinese government has allegedly hatched a “Hail Mary” plan to get Elon Musk to buy it.

But let’s take a step back to admire the cosmic joke here. The U.S. government has been busy insisting for years that TikTok, under Chinese control, is an “existential threat” to our national security, data privacy, and teenage mental well-being. They threatened to ban it. They forced divestment. They scolded ByteDance. All in the name of protecting innocent American children from the digital jaws of the Chinese Communist Party.

And make no mistake, for once, the federal government has actually put our country and our citizen's best interest above money. Because tiktok is fucking horrifying when you peel back the layers and listen to the experts discuss it. 

8 months ago, one of my favorite podcasts, The Tim Ferriss Show had Matt Pottinger on. He's a distinguished visiting fellow at the Hoover Institution, and former United States Deputy National Security Advisor. He's also extremely well versed in the CCP. 

And what he had to say was that TikTok isn’t just your run-of-the-mill social media app. It’s basically the CCP’s Trojan Horse.

Pottinger dove headlong into how TikTok in the U.S. has evolved (or devolved) into a platform that- 

Pushes anti-American, anti-democratic, and sometimes anti-Israel content at an algorithmic pace far exceeding anything we see from other platforms. That 2022 Congressional hearing basically asked, “Why are our kids bombarded with this nonsense while Douyin (China’s version of TikTok) is a squeaky-clean, educational wonderland teaching math, science, and Confucian virtues?”

And again, credit where it's rarely due- Congress was right. 

China's tiktok aka Douyin, is basically like watching Jeopardy, while the version here is fucking a combination of Real Housewives of Love & Hip Hop, mixed with that shit from Clockwork Orange.

My mom used to forbid my sisters and I from watching MTV altogether, and would beat my ass when she caught me sneaking to watch it. She called it rubbish and said it would rot my brain. And that was when they actually played music videos! But she couldn't stop me. My appetite for TRL, Yo! MTV Raps, and Britney Spears videos was insatiable. I can't even imagine the challenge parents today face trying to shield their kids from the filth that's out there. 

Tiktok/Douyin also crushes any content even slightly embarrassing to the CCP. Because, obviously, if you want to keep your foot in the American door, and on your own people's throats, you can’t let folks see comedic memes of Chinese officials throwing anybody who opposes them into work camps, performing medical experiments on prisoners, and other fun stuff that human rights officials choose to ignore. Keep that stuff under wraps! Right Lebron?

And it violates anything resembling free speech or data privacy, if we go by FDR’s old-school media ownership laws and the national security concerns that pot-stirrers keep bringing up. (And by “pot-stirrers", I mean most of the intelligence community.)

Basically, Americans are getting cyber-cotton candy for dinner, while Chinese audiences get a daily regimen of digital spinach. And let’s be real: cotton candy is fun at first, but you wouldn’t exactly want it as your three-square-meals-a-day. 

They are purposely dumbing down and dividing an already moronic and divided polpulation. 

Meanwhile, the CCP is basically feeding their populace a balanced, government-approved diet. So, in the world of social media consumption, someone is playing the long game, and it probably isn’t us.

Pottinger also raised the alarm that TikTok’s data security is less secure than a screen door on a submarine. Journalists and user activities have allegedly been tracked, sources doxxed, and Xi Jinping himself has apparently studied ways to leverage big data to silence dissent or, at the very least, keep a watchful eye on “suspicious” folks. The idea that the Chinese government (and by extension, the CCP) could monitor your dancing nieces, your news consumption, and your location is just dandy. 

But do you know what’s apparently more terrifying to some U.S. officials? Elon Musk having access to the same platform. You’d think they’d prefer the rocket guy over the possibility of an authoritarian regime collecting data, right? 

Right? 

Let’s just say logic doesn’t always figure into these debates.

(Sidebar - Pottinger also connected tiktok and the CCP to Taiwan, and the world's reliance on semiconductors in a pretty wild, 5D-chess manner. Watch or listen to the full episode because he obviously explains it much better than my dumb ass, but from what I gathered - China’s ambitions don’t stop at controlling social media algorithms. They also have their sights set on Taiwan, a crucial stronghold that, if taken, would allow the CCP to tighten its military grip on the region. The company TSMC in Taiwan produces 92% of the world’s advanced semiconductors. In other words, the chips that power pretty much everything we use- our computers, our phones, planes, drones, Playstations, you name it - along withg TikTok’s servers. And they all come from an island that China wouldn’t mind absorbing. 

Pottinger hammered home that a credible U.S. deterrence- i.e. military presence, strong alliances, and so forth, is essential to prevent China from running amok. If Taiwan is compromised, global supply chains collapse faster than your patience during a wait in a line at the DMV.)

So I don't know what's worse. Elon gaining even more power, or the CCP continuing it's softwar against us?

We'd have the two most polarizing men in big tech, Elon and Zuckerberg each owning two of the most powerful country on the planet's sources of social media and information (twitter and now potentially tik tok, and facebook and Instagram, respectively). 

That sound you just heard was Elizabeth Warren shrieking in horror. 

Can't we just get rid of the thing altogether? 

Then again, as John Rich blogged yesterday, maybe it's time to just resign to the fact we are doomed no matter what happens. 

p.s. - You can listen to the entire Matt Pottinger on Tim Ferriss EPISODE HERE. Or watch it here -