MOVIE REVIEW: Nosferatu Is Not Nearly As Horny As People Are Saying
A gothic tale of obsession between a haunted young woman and the terrifying vampire infatuated with her, causing untold horror in its wake.
This is a movie that I was excited for because I'm a Robert Eggers guy. 'The Northman', 'The Lighthouse', 'The Witch are my kinda movies. At the same time, I fully understand that his movies are NOT for everybody. Not in a "you're too dumb to get it unlike me!!" pretentious film douchebag way. Just in a different strokes type of way. You could have a 5 star chef prepare an amazing steak for you but, if you hate steak, you're not gonna like it. You can respect that it's probably well made but nobody should force you to pretend to like it, right? That's how I feel about Eggers and a few other directors like Wes Anderson.
Anyway, I think 'Nosferatu delivers exactly what I wanted out it. Creepy, gothic vibes and an excellent telling of one of the great creature stories. Big success on all those fronts as far as I'm concerned! Although, I will say that I thought this movie was going to be diabolically horny based on the early reactions to it. It's really not. All the True Blood, Vamprie Diaries, Interview with a Vampire etc of the world are way more sex filled than this movie. I'd actually say this is maybe on the lower end of the horny spectrum for a vampire flick.
Like usual, here is a simple pro and con list.
PRO:
- Like with all Robert Eggers movies, the production is out of this world. It's really immersive with minimal CGI and cool sets that make you feel like you're right in the middle of that 1800s gothic world
- The acting is exceptional across the board. You might think that we, as an audience, might be sick of Bill Skarksgard creature work but nope! He finds a way to keep things fresh and new which is pretty difficult considering how much vampire stuff we've seen over the years.
- Lily-Rose Depp surprised me! I feel like I've never been that impressed with her but I really liked her work.
- I really liked the soundtrack. Really atmospheric and sets the mood perfectly.
CONS:
- It don't know what the answer is for this but I felt like it could have been a bit more unique. Like I said before, there are a million vampire shows, movies etc and the general story sorta just felt like one we've seen before in the broad strokes.
- I actually think the movie could have been more horny. Part of the vampire appeal is their ability to seduce anybody through sex appeal and powers. Didn't get enough of that.
Overall, I think it delivered everything as advertised. I'm landing on an 83/100 and I just wish it had something to take it to the next level. You can watch me and Gooch's full video review below: