The Giants Are Assholes

Look, I know NFL players and most certainly NFL coaches sitting squarely on a scorching hot seat don't tank. But franchises that are stuck in football hell NEED to tank and the Giants just blew up their tank with a worthless win against the Colts. Sure, those players put some good film on tape and the coaches can point to some plays when they are looking for new jobs last year. But us fans and the shitty owners that are stuck with this team needed this loss so the Giants could get the number 1 pick so they could draft their quarterback of the future.

Actually, what from the last decade has shown us that the Giants will draft the right player or not completely ruin him if they do draft him? Nothing. So I guess none of this game or season or life actually matters. We are born, use distractions to get through our lives, and then die. But it still would've been sweet to dream of the number 1 pick even though there doesn't seem to be a no-brainer franchise QB.

However now we must pivot to Plan B, which is bringing back Drew Lock next season, lose a shit ton of games and then get Arch in the 2026 draft. Unless Archie pulls some strings to block him from coming here, which he should honestly do since John Mara has proven to be just like his dad before he was forced to have George Young clean up the slop Wellington and his brother unleashed on the swamps of the Meadowlands.

Speaking of which, I hate the Eagles more than any franchise in sports, but I truly hope Saquon breaks the single season rushing record and John Mara's black heart next week.