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While the Manhunt for the CEO's Assassin Continues, the World Turns its Focus to Captured Columbian Hit Woman 'The Doll'

It's been two full days since the early morning fatal shooting on a Manhattan sidewalk cost a man his life, a woman her husband, their children a father, and a gigantic healthcare corporation their CEO. In the hours since, as Karim pointed out, there have been clues found. And hopefully an arrest is made before the trail goes too cold. 

In the meantime, the international community has turned its collective gaze toward Colombia, where authorities there have capture someone alleged to have been involved in several murders. Not the least of whom was her own boyfriend. For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, the internet has become fixated on this one particular accused criminal:

NY Post - A doll-faced killer will get thrown in the box. 

A sultry 23-year-old Colombian woman known as “The Doll” and labeled a “dangerous hitwoman” was arrested in connection to several targeted gangland killings — including the recent ambush murder of her ex-lover, according to local reports.

Karen Julieth Ojeda Rodriguez — known to police by the alias “La Muneca” (“The Doll”) — was cuffed for her alleged involvement in several high-profile murders. ...

[A]ccording to Magdalena Medio police [t]he femme fatale called her ex, Deyvy Jesus, and invited him to meet so the two could supposedly resolve a money dispute, police said. 

But the unsuspecting beau was riddled with bullets when two men drove by on a motorcycle, allegedly at the behest of “The Doll,” the report recounted.

This arrest explains a few things. For one, how Aubrey Plaza has been trending on everybody's X account. It's pretty obvious why:

And there should be no doubt her agent's phone is blowing up with calls from every producer in Hollywood hoping to cash in with a bit of stunt-casting for the inevitable dozen true crime series to come. I suppose Plaza can convincingly play a Colombian. After all, in Dirty Grandpa she pulled off the part of a young woman who's half Cuban. "The bottom half":

And truth be told, I would watch that. Not so much because I'm a big True Crime guy. I've watched a few. But generally speaking real life itself is dark and terrible enough without it leaking over into the entertainment bubble I like to escape into. Still, this will work because it's a "Woman Bites Dog" story. 

How many times do you really get to see a female antihero who's actually attractive? Not like Charlize Theron in Monster, who won an Oscar because she got herself so uglified by the makeup department. But more like actual Charlize Theron. Except 23 years old and from Central America. 

It's a common occurrence for some guy to go to prison for violent crimes, murder especially, and win the hearts of ladies all over the world as they do. Now it's the fellas chance.

 

Giphy Images.

This is our opportunity to fall for the Bad Girl, believing that she may have lost her way, but deep down inside is someone with a heart of gold. Someone who, with our love, support, faith, and a whole lot of conjugal visits, can be fixed. That Karen Julieth Ojeda Rodriguez just needs us to believe in her.

Granted, it would seem that Deyvy Jesus believed in her, and look where that got him. So I guess we should all just stick with Aubrey Plaza herself. She seems dangerous in her own right, but not the kind who's going to leave you gunned down in the street. Her kind of danger, I can handle.