Breaking Down The Full Cast Of Season 4 Of 'Surviving Barstool' With $250k To The Winner

Tonight, it begins. In the Fall, 23 Barstool employees and Smitty entered the Chicago Office to play our 4th rendition of "Surviving Barstool", a very original and completely legal reality show entirely created by Jeff D Lowe. The goal? To lie, backstab and manipulate their coworkers and friends, win competitions, and earn the vote to take home the 1st place prize of $250,000. 

The season debuts tonight at 8pm on all Barstool platforms and I'm sure it's going to exceed the hype. So to prepare you for it, I'm going to do an old school DAWG BLAWG, breaking down each contestant, and giving my thoughts on their allies and chances to win. Since there are 24 of 'em I'll try to keep it short and to the point, but we'll see how that goes. I will go in alphabetical order like the graphic above and just start typing, so here we go:

Arian Foster

Arian is the 3rd most successful NFL player turned podcast host at Barstool Sports. But even though he's just a podcaster he's still a big, physical, athletic guy. His physical abilities and the fact he's a former pro athlete should help him and his tribe in the challenges, but his lack of relationships with the full cast could end up costing him, as Surviving Barstool is a game of trust and bonds and Arian probably only knows a few people in the cast. But seeing as he spent a ton of his life in locker rooms, he should understand how to make bonds and get people to trust him. So if he settles in and has a strong social game, he could be someone to watch out for.

Big Cat

Big Cat is probably the worst contestant in Surviving Barstool history. He spent all of his season watching football instead of playing the game, and then was a sore sport about getting voted out first, despite never even attempting to play the game. So he is back this season with a vengeance, looking to redeem himself and the Big Cat name. Obviously BC understands social dynamics, how to build successful team around him. A zoned in Big Cat should be a force, it just depends on if they had to do a challenge while a MAC game was happening that he had the 1h over in.

Biz

Ollllll' Paul Bissonnette. He is what the people refer to as "a beauty". A friend to all, unless you're a drunk Irish Traveler at a Scottsdale bar or a blonde woman trying to settle down. There are a few people you can say this about, but Biz is universally liked by everyone at the company. The question is- can he be cut throat? Is he too nice and charming for this game? He was a fighter in the NHL, but will he throw some knockout blows to his compadres on Surviving Barstool?

Caleb

Caleb is similar to Biz in that he's charming, well liked, and never quite lived up to his potential in his sport of choice. We don't see Caleb often, but when we do, he's usually doing something awesome. Caleb is the master of making friends- just check his IG story on any given weekend and he's hanging out with another A-lister, be it Theo Von, a professional athlete, or Glenny Balls. Caleb is great at nurturing relationships and getting people to like him, valuable skills in this game.

Dave

You guys know Dave- The most honest man I've ever met! The Dave dynamic obviously speaks for itself- he is everyone's boss, and people like working for him. The scariest thing you can do is stab your boss in the back. But it's also a game for $250,000! There will be people who want Dave out immediately, people scared to vote him out, and people who will want to align with him because, well, he is still the boss. Can a zillionaire win is another big question- do you vote him out early because you don't want his dynamics in the game, or do you keep him around because you don't think your peers would vote for him to win? Having him in the game, to me, is the most interesting part of it all.

Francis

Everyone knows Francis the lunatic. Every time he's on one of these shows he does something so funny and psychotic, I can't wait to see what it is this time. He's also very smart though and knows his image and how he is perceived. If he can use that to his advantage he could mentally fuck a lot of the dumber people on this cast.

Gillie

I don't know much about Gillie besides he loves weed and the Philadelphia Eagles. He also has close to 4 million Instagram followers which is nothing to shake a stick at. You don't get 4 million followers by accident, he clearly "gets it" and has a brain built for this type of thing, if it's not too fried by the aforementioned weed.

Jersey Jerry

Jersey Jerry made the final 3 last season and is back this year to prove it wasn't a fluke. Though he walked away empty handed despite Big Cat and PFT's best efforts to gift wrap him the game, he played a strong game on his own and was probably more hurt by their meddling than helped. I would assume Jerry knows this and will be out to prove he is a strong player once again, without outside interference.

Kelly Keegs

Keegs has done other Barstool reality shows before and is never one to shy away from controversy. She has a strong personality which has worked both in her favor and against it, and you never know which way it's going to go. I have no idea what sort of game Kelly should play, but I'm looking for her to use her flattering side to win over her allies, and her vindictive side to then stab them in the back.

Kirk

We all know Kirk. He is smart, but can easily fly off the handle. He is kind, but if you fuck him over he will make your life 100x worse. He's highly competitive and will stop at nothing to win. He is another guy who is fully aware of how he is perceived and will try to work that intimidation factor into his game to propel him to victory.

Klemmer

6'3, 97 pound Chris Klemmer is….well….he's Chris Klemmer. He is extremely opinionated and strong-willed, often to a fault. He is prone to lose his temper over the smallest of things, which could be a detriment in Surviving. But he is also very competitive and should be able to turn on and off some switches when need be.

Megan Making Money

Another reality show veteran at Barstool, MMM is charming and well liked by all. She has shown she is able to think through situations and make the tough decisions when need be. Also great at making sandwiches, so I've been told. MMM is a glue guy through and through.

Mintzy

I'm not sure how he weaseled his way into this show. If I had to pick 1 person who I think has a 0% chance of winning, it would be him. No offense to Mintzy, but come on. Like…come on.

Moobie

I think Moobie will prove to be a stronger competitor than people will originally give her credit for. It's hard to build the sort of following she has without being relatable and good in social situations. She's also just fun to be around, sort of like how Feits made it far last season. I don't know a ton about Moobie but I do like the cut of her jib, she's someone to keep an eye on.

Ria

Ria is yet another strong, smart, and well liked member of the cast. But I also don't know who she is close to in the cast outside of Robbie Fox. Ria will have to use all the tools in her bag to forge bonds with others and gain trust with people in order to make it far in the game.

Rico Bosco

Rico, Rico, Rico. It's so hard to root against Rico. For all the bad he's done in the past, he's still so entertaining, truly does get along well with most, and is uber-competitive. The thing working against Bosco is obviously his brain, which is not wired correctly. There's an equal chance he wins as their is he winds up in jail for doing something during a challenge.

Robbie Fox

From the time the cast was announced, Young Bob was called "the favorite" because he's young, engaged, and just a delight. Being singled out publicly by Dave on day 1 was probably not what he wanted to hear, if we're being honest. But once you enter the arena, none of that matters. Robbie is a sly fox and should be able to maneuver himself well in the game, and that's not because he has the same build as Gumby.

Rone

Champion battle rapper. All-world cactus thrower. A scheming mother fucker. I was glad Rone was cast on this show because his brain works in mysterious ways. Once you think you have Rone figured out, he changes the rules. I think Rone thinks at a higher level than most, which should help him in the game, as long as he doesn't overplay his cards too early.

Smitty

I just hope he's ok. Choose love.

Taylor Lewan

A former all-pro tackle in the NFL turned podcaster turned Dana White's personal ball washer, Taylor understands how to make friends in high places. I don't really know much about him besides that, plus I figure anyone who can became an NFL star must be pretty good in challenges and he's another guy who should be able to adapt his personality to make friends in the game if he chooses.

Wallo

Wallo went to jail for 20 years, got out, and is now a multi-millionaire. It's impossible to bet against Wallo accomplishing anything. Like a few others he maybe not have many allies going into the game, but he's Wallo, he can figure it out like he has everything else.

Ryan Whitney

The other half of the Spittin Chiclets Podcast, Whitney, much like Biz, is a likable fella. Funny, interesting, and influential without being over-powering, Ryan Whitney is my pick to win. It works against him that he is a multi-millionaire and would have to beat out people who need the money more, but if he makes strong moves and keeps good relationships, I could see him being hard to vote against if he makes it there.

Will Compton

Last year's winner is back to try and defend his crown. Will played a great game last season, taking down Tommy and making big moves in the right spots to propel himself to victory. He came into the game knowing very little about the strategy side of it, and it was fascinating to watch him first hand figure it out on the fly. Can someone go back to back? If anyone can, it's Will.

WSD

I've spent 15 minutes trying to write something whimsical about WSD and I can't find the words. WSD winning this would be like me dating Sydney Sweeney. Theoretically possible, like in 1 world out of a billion, it's possible. I just hope we get a funny WSD moment. If he wins and I'm wrong I'll chain myself to a statue in Chicago.

That's my thoughts on the cast. I truly feel it's anyone's game to win besides Mintz or WSD. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the lies, the back stabbing, and hopefully some theatrics like screaming matches and maybe even some crying. Buckle up buckaroos, the new season starts now!