The Most Obscure Items In The Barstool Sports Store For 20% Off On Cyber Monday

Today is Cyber Monday. The last day of Barstool Sports employees shoving our 20% off the entire store sale down your throats. If you follow Barstool even minimally, you've probably seen 100 different shirts and sweatshirts and hats marketed to you in creative or non-creative ways. Mostly non-creative. There's a lot of pretty cool merch in there. A lot of good stuff that Barstool Sports employees are quick to post about, because we believe those are the items people are most likely to spend money on. But this particular "Hey Dave look I'm promoting the company please don't fire me" blog is to pay tribute to some of the lesser promoted items. Items that live deep within store.barstoolsports.com and don't get the shine they rightfully deserve. But items that exist nonetheless. 

I don't have access to our sales figures, or social media numbers. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say the following items haven't been promoted nearly as much as some of their counterparts. But that doesn't mean they aren't 100% unequivocally without a shred of a doubt for sale in the Barstool Store. Gifts that our merch team are dying to mail to your home in exchange for U.S. currency.

Consider purchasing this Million Dollaz Worth of Game pint glass for the low, low price of $12.00 USD.

Picture this. It's a cold winter evening. You and you're loved ones are spending Christmas at your log cabin condo in Vail, Colorado. You spent all day skiing Vail's Legendary Back Bowls, followed by an hour in your outdoor jacuzzi that overlooks the rockies, and a hot stone massage from the private masseuse your family hired. Now it's time for everyone come together, play some board games, and discuss the day's events. Your uncle has purchased an array of local IPA's, amber ales and winter lagers for all to indulge in. And what better way to enjoy a mountain traditional, Gore Creek IPA than through the mouth of a brand new Million Dollaz Worth of Game Pint Glass. 

What about these limited edition Pardon My Take ping pong lottery balls? 

These fully functional beer pong balls are perfect for your next get together, and will double as an excellent conversation starter.

"Why are these balls numbered? Are they from a set or something?"

"Yes they are. Have you heard of Pardon My Take?"

"Is that the Barstool Sports podcast with Big Cat and PFT Commenter?"
"Yes exactly."

"So what do these numbers mean?"

"They have a lottery ball machine that they run at the end of every episode and they all try to guess the number."
"So these are from the machine."
"They're replicas"

"Oh I see. Haha look they have number 69."

"Lol I know right."
"So are there 100 balls?"

"In their actual machine there are, but the pack I bought only came with 6."
"Ok got it. Yeah I guess nobody needs 100 beer pong balls. That's way too many."

"Right. 6 balls is fine."

For only $8, you can have your very own Save The Date hairclip

If you're a frequent listener of Chicks in The Office then you might understand this reference. But even if you're not, perhaps you know someone who is? Perhaps that person is a girl with hair that she sometimes puts in a clip? Even if she's not a fan of the podcast, it's still a fully functioning hair clip. It also might be appropriate for someone who has a wedding coming up. Maybe. I'm not really sure how. Maybe the bride-to-be could gift the hair clips to her bridesmaids for them to wear while getting ready? Maybe that's who these clips are designed for? That might make sense.

Do you have a dog who likes to chew on toys?

I once brought a dog toy home from the office and presented by two dogs with it. It was a Barstool Chicago hot dog that had some sort of jingly metal ball inside. My dogs immediately started fighting over it in a pretty viscous way. I'd never seen them go at each other like that before. It came out of nowhere. We had separate them and everything. Luckily nobody was hurt, but it was pretty scary. I have to assume that means it was a fucking awesome toy. 

The particular toy that my dogs loved so much they nearly killed each other over isn't available anymore. But the car stick dog toy is. Maybe it's made by the same dog toy company. 

If you peruse the 'Winter Accessories' section of the Barstool Store, you'll find this one single item.

You can never have too many pairs of gloves. I was gifted two separate pairs last year, and the other day when I finally needed them I couldn't find either pair. No clue where they went. I already need more. The Watson Gloves X Spitting Chiclets Outdoor Rink Winter Gloves are perfect for pond hockey, general hand warming, and for fighting off a traveling gang of Irish golf criminals. 

 Are you a fan of Barstool Sports? But more specifically, are you a fan of the 63 year old man who screams about eating ass? Do you want the world to know it?

Fly this giant 'Ready To Roll' flag from your front porch to signal to the neighborhood that you're a family who doesn't think eating pussy is gay. Unless you're gay yourself. Do you think there are any lesbian Stu Feiner fans out there? Really doesn't seem like his demographic, but there's probably a few. If that's you, then in your case, cunnilingus would be extremely gay. Buy the flag either way.

Barstool Spots Cyber Monday runs through tonight. The last day to get 20% off in the Barstool Store. The money money you spend the more money you save. Get to store. Buy now.  This could be your last chance. You could always die before next Christmas