Dumping Them Out: College Football, Wicked, Italian Baker

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. The show where the GIF's are repeats and I don't give you the names of the girls.

Every Saturday I spend a portion of my day getting mad at Brandon Walker college football takes. I've noticed this year his strategy has essentially been to declare that every team in college football sucks. Then claim victory the team inevitably loses a couple games, as every team except for like 2 or 3 will do, then it's all "See I told you they weren't good!". 

God damn it Brandon there are 12 playoff spots! There has to be 12 teams that get in! And they're all "good" relatively speaking. If they all suck then you must just hate college football. Feels kinda bullshit to me to set the bar for being good at "a real threat to win the National Championship". Anybody can do that god damn it. I know you watch enough football to come up with something better than that.

And yes I'm overly sensitive because I'm an Indiana fan and I'm tired of him hammering home how much they suck. We get it. Sorry for being excited about the 1 good football season we've ever had. BUT YOU SAID THEY SUCKED AND WERE GOING TO LOSE EVERY FUCKING WEEK THIS SEASON AND WERE FINALLY RIGHT WHEN THEY LOST TO OHIO STATE THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG YOU DON'T GET TO GLOAT ABOUT THAT GOD DAMN IT! YOU WERE THE MOST WRONG PERSON ABOUT INDIANA ON THE PLANET ALL YEAR LONG.

Ok sorry. Got that out of my system. Regardless, it's very hilarious that Indiana did EXACTLY what they could not do against Ohio State yesterday. They proved everyone who talked shit about them right. But Indiana still came out a winner last night because every SEC team decided to shit the bed. I didn't think it was possible for a team to come out looking worse than Indiana did yesterday. But boy was I wrong. Thanks Alabama. 

Remember when people tried to say Alabama was a real threat to win the National Championship because they beat LSU? That was a weird overreaction. 

I went to see Wicked yesterday. Here's a few takeaways from a non-movie guy with no real prior knowledge of the plot going into it. Which Steven Cheah pretended to do the other day when he wrote a blog, which when you break it down said, "I didn't like Wicked because I don't like musicals but if you like musicals then you might enjoy it".. Thanks for the insight Steve.

Thought 1: They live in a world where animals talk. But when they first encounter a girl with green skin, they lose their fucking minds like it's the craziest, scariest shit they've ever witnessed. Feels like they would have been a little less shocked by that considering they live in a magical fantasy wizard land. 

Thought 2: Ariana Grande is awesome. A legitimately great & funny actress. I thought her character was hilarious. Would love to see her go back to acting instead of focusing on music. 

Thought 3: The song Popular is really an all-time banger. 

However many rappers and musical artists have already sampled that chorus, it's not enough. Keep 'em coming. Really need Kanye to drop this beat for real someday.

Side Note: When I was searching "Wicked" on YouTube, I came across this song by some random prisoner. I remember seeing it in a TikTok years ago and I listened to it about a thousand times. Idk what horrific things this man may or may not have done to get himself locked up, but regardless, someone's gotta make this into a real song. 

Thought 4: Were fans of the Wizard of Oz pissed when Wicked rose in popularity? Because the writers of Wicked kind of just took a big ol' shit on the entire premise of Wizard of Oz. If you aren't familiar with the story, they took the Wicked Witch of The West and made her into the good guy. They made the Wizard of Oz and his friends the assholes who were trying to silence talking animals. It's all very political. Oddly timely (although the book was written in 1995). But regardless, I'd think big Wizard of Oz stans would have been like, "Who the fuck gave you the right to change the entire backstory of such a classic movie?" 

Imagine if someone did that with Charlie & The Chocolate Factory? Like they just created a backstory of Willie Wonka and made him into a pedophile? We get to see what really happened when kids fell into the chocolate river. That'd make you look at the original a lot differently. 

Thought 5: I then watched the original Wizard of Oz from 1939 last night after getting home (crazy nobody has made any sort of remake since then). But it does not hold up. A lot of plot holes in that movie. The Wicked Witch of The West just keeps showing up and doing nothing. She could have killed the shit out of Dorothy a million times. She deserved to "melt".

I loved Wicked overall. I'm a fan of musicals and Broadway shows in general. Of course, if you're staunchly against musicals and can't get past the corniness factor, then you might not like it. But if you go in with a halfway open mind, even if you're not typically a musical person, I think you'd enjoy the movie. I give it an 8.5/10. A good one to see with your wife, girlfriend, kids, etc. Should make everyone happy, and won't be complete torture for you.

I'm a fan of Ian Rapoport as a personality and all. He seems like a good enough dude when he goes on Pardon My Take. Doesn't seem to take himself too seriously. But I love this story.

Anybody in the, "finding out news 10 minutes before it would have dropped anyways" business deserves to be lied to at all times. It's the fakest job in the world. It contributes nothing to the world of sports, but somehow these guys have tricked companies like ESPN and the NFL Network into paying them millions of dollars to do it. Not that the job isn't a grind. I'm sure it sucks to have to be glued to your phone like that all the time. But it's the most unnecessary occupation in the world. There's no reason we need to hear contract news from someone like Ian Rapoport or Adam Schefter, instead of from the source of the news itself. If I was ever in a position like Mike Mularkey was, I'd do the exact same thing. 

Speaking of people I'm a fan of, Baker Mayfield did Tommy Devito's signature "I am Italian" celebration after scoring a TD vs the Giants today. 

That seemed a little unnecessary. I guess when you're Tommy DeVito, and you did the whole Tommy Cutlets/face of Italy thing last year, which the media//Barstool Sports decided to violently shove down everyone's throats, then that's going to happen. But it's kind hilarious to score a TD against a team as hopeless the 2-8 Giants are right now, and take a shot at a backup backup QB who's only in the game because his team has publicly thrown in the towel and are in full tank mode. They're not even putting up a fight. All is fair in professional football. But that seemed a bit rude Baker. 

The end.