Hate to See It: Jason Kelce Decided to Play Nice With a Lowlife Autograph Hound Who Called Him a 'Shitbag' and a 'Pussy'

Kevin Sabitus. Getty Images.

You can understand how 2024 has been a year of big changes for Jason Kelce. Even though he's spent a lot of time in the public eye as a highly respected player on a high profile franchise, there's a huge difference between anchoring the Philadelphia Eagles' offensive line and being an A-list celebrity. Which he most certainly is. Going from calling out blocking assignments and blocking fat guys to Overexposed Celebrity status in an instant would be a big adjustment for anyone. And it hasn't always been a smooth transition for him:

Which might explain why he'd react the way he did to the flat out verbal abuse he got from a positively unhinged, lunatic, bottom-feeder autograph seeker as he left the studio where he'd just appeared on Jimmy Kimmel:

Source - A man seeking a Jason Kelce autograph on Thursday night went ballistic on the former NFL star … calling him a "py" and screaming out "f you" repeatedly, but Travis Kelce's big bro admirably deescalated the situation -- and the tense moments were all captured on video by TMZ Sports. …

Check out the vid -- the guy went nuclear … accusing Jason of big-timing them -- while yelling obscenities over and over again.

                   

"You ain't nobody special!" the man hollered as Jason got into his ride. "You're some s* bag, fing guy that thinks he's on some pedestal!"

                   

The shouting was so relentless, Jason actually got out of his car to try to explain himself.

                   

"I have a habit of not signing for people that follow where I'm going," he stated.

                   

The man, though, didn't let up -- and at one point he appeared to challenge Jason to a fight.

                   

"I'll be running the Marvel Cinematic Universe," the guy said. "Watch for me, you py! F* you. And f*** your love!"

But seconds later, Jason managed to calm the situation down -- by heading over to the autograph seekers and promising to sign their things.

         

As Jason put pen to everyone's paper -- the man's attitude changed … and he apologized.

                   

Eventually, Jason signed for the guy -- and shook his hand. As the future Hall of Famer walked away, the man said he was sorry again.

Unless you've been in the situation where a deranged crackpot is demanding you offer him your time, attention and signature because he believes he's entitled to it and it's "FUCK YOU!!!" if you don't monkey dance to his satisfaction, it's hard to put yourself in Kelce's shoes. He probably surmised Autograph Guy has crippling mental issues. I mean, unless Kevin Feige spends his nights lurking behind the chain link fence outside of Jimmy Kimmel Live, then claiming you'll be running the MCU is a dead giveaway you brain's crew has abandoned ship. So it's likely Kelce crossed that parking lot as an act of mercy. 

But ever there was a situation that didn't for kindness, this was it. This was negotiating with terrorists. Caving into threats. Giving into bullies. Rewarding emotional blackmail. This rat bastard is the celebrity worship equivalent of a 3-year-old who throwing a fit at the checkout aisle because mom refused to buy him a Milky Way. Sure, she can buy herself a moment's peace for 99 cents. But that relief is only temporary and will come at a terrible cost. She's only made it harder on herself the next time she has to pass the impulse purchase rack. 

I pity the next actor who does Kimmel because he's contractually obligated to promote his movie, and now has to navigate his way past this maniac. Because he's only more empowered now. He's a hunter, and famous people are his prey. The lesson he's learned from this is is that kindness is a weakness. One that can be exploited. The way a wolf sees an elk limping and alerts the whole pack to go after it. Except even a wolf has too much dignity to apologize to his kill and say "I love you" as he devours its flesh. This fuckface has so little respect for Kelce he had zero problem saying those very words to the man he just spent two minutes insulting and demeaning. And he got rewarded for it. 

Not that I'm victim-blaming, by any stretch. The real blame falls on a society that allows these people to walk the streets haranguing our future Hall of Famers and entertainers, when we should be rounding them up and shipping them to GITMO. Do better, America.