Report: The Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce Burglaries Were the Work of a Theft Ring Run by a South American Cartel

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When two of the literally most recognizable humans in the United States - and whose work schedules are made known to the entire world in the middle of May - are the victims of nearly simultaneous break-ins:

… it doesn't take the gang from Only Murders in the Building to see this isn't a coincidence. It's not bad luck. It's not separate incidence. It's not two random opioid addicts finding opportunities to fence some goods to score their next fixes on back-to-back days. It certainly seemed like these crimes were highly orchestrated and organized by the same people. 

And according to news reports, local police believe they know who's responsible. Remember that "Vamonos Pest Control" subplot in Breaking Bad when they need a place to cook meth and Saul Goodman explains that "a Second Story Guy" is a contractor who does work at a house, figures out where the valuables are and how to break in, then comes back later when the owners are away? Allegedly this is exactly how Mahomes, Kelce and even Bobby Portis got victimized:

Source - One week after high end burglaries targeting Kansas City Chiefs stars Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce, FOX4 is learning who could be behind them. “This is a sophisticated operation, it’s not some guy that’s going down to the local pawn shop,” said Security expert Mike Barbieri.

It appears to be a highly intelligent crime ring. …

Multiple sources confirmed with FOX4 that police believe the thieves behind these high-end burglaries are members of a South American crime ring.

“It doesn’t surprise me at all that this crime spree that is going across the entire country is designed by some very sophisticated people in somewhat of a cartel,” Barbieri said.

Barbieri is a security expert who’s worked with the federal government in law enforcement and has run security detail in more than 20 countries.

“If you have a particular individual that’s an athlete, a wealthy CEO, you can find out just about anything you need to find out about these people online,” he said. …

Professional athletes have been hit in a suburb of Minneapolis and one in Milwaukee where NBA player Bobby Portis says thieves walked out with most of his prized possessions.

Barbieri is clear that the work these South American criminals are getting away with starts well in advance of the burglaries with weeks of intelligence prep and possibly even work inside of these homes.“Anybody that’s had their home worked on recently and then miraculously had it burglarized, you can draw a very interesting conclusion from that. Some of the people that were on the jobsite may know people in these cartels and may be selling the information,” Barbieri said.

This is fricking chilling, to say the least. Even if we're talking about multi-millionaires and two of the most overexposed celebrities in our culture who appear in every commercial break on TV and get every favorable call in every game they play, you have to still have sympathy for them. 

Talk to anyone who ever had their house broken into and they'll tell you. Next to an actual violent crime, it's the worst violation you can suffer. A total violation of your privacy in what is supposed to be your sanctuary. The place where you are safest. And in one respect, almost worse than a crime of violence. If someone comes up and tries to assault you, at least you can fight back. Or if you're Kelce's brother, give the little punkass bitch what he's got coming to him and Gronk spike his phone into the pavement. In a way, this is more of an insult because it's done behind your back when you're helpless to do anything about it.

So here's hoping this gang is rounded up. It seems to me that if this Barbieri guy is correct, an investigation can begin with who's been doing work on the houses of Mahomes, Kelce and Portis, and then work backwards from there. At the same time, it makes you wonder how vast this operation is. Let's not forget that Gronk came back from winning Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta only to find his house had gotten robbed. And who knows how many other athletes have been victimized the same way, but just don't have the high profiles these four have. 

So yeah, this is scary. And something that could have a profound effect on sports in ways we can't even imagine. All I know for sure is that I'll stay on top of this story. While working from home here at Stately Thornton Manor. Checking my elaborate security system. Cleaning my guns. And petting my attack dogs. Here's hoping all the law enforcement agencies in Kansas City and beyond get their men.