PFTCommenter Possibly Caused The Death of a Giant Tortoise That Belonged to Steve Irwin and Charles Darwin

Before we begin, let me just acknowledge that PFTCommenter is clearly beloved. He's been an absolute force in the podcast game for quite a long time. In fact, that mother fucker makes enough in ads for the company that it easily pays for my whole team's salary. Cons, Kate, and I are thankful for his service. 

That being said, PFTCommenter might be the single biggest mush in the history of history. I know what you're thinking, "But Chaps, Marty Mush exists." Well, has Marty Mush ever caused the death and extinction of a beloved creature of the most unique place on earth? Well, in 2012 a giant tortoise named Lonesome George passed away. Guess who was there? The artist formerly known as Eric. Prince Symbol. 

Let me set the scene. Our friend Lonesome George was a giant tortoise from the Galápagos and was the last of his kind. Scientists found that loveable bundle of fun in 1971 and worked their dicks off to find him a mate or have him breed with other tortoises, but it never worked. Turns out that George was asexual which is his right as a sentient creature. Everyone can not be like me and fuck 3400 times. There's no question about that. 

George became a symbol of how important it is to protect endangered animals and the Galapagos in general. He spent the rest of his life alone, which is how he got his name. When Lonesome George died in 2012, his species went extinct, leaving behind a sad reminder of how humans can harm Earth's most fascinating creatures from the world's most fascinating places. 

Now, in my headline, I asked the question, "Did PFTCommenter cause the extinction of a tortoise species?" Well, he was on the Island for just a few days and a tortoise that lived for 150 years died. The connection is strong but let's remember that correlation is not always causation but sometimes it is. I'll let you be the judge. 

That being said, PFTCommenter unequivocally did not cause the shared tortoises of Charles Darwin and Steve to die. I got that mixed up. The tortoise I was thinking of when I wrote the headline was our friend and longtime stoolie Harriet. 

Harriet was first discovered by the heretic Charles Darwin during his trip to the Galápagos Islands in 1835. She was believed to be around five years old at the time. Just a cute little baby.

"But Chaps, sorry to interrupt again. How on earth could that be possible? Surely that's a mistake. That would make Harriet 176 years old at her untimely death in 2006." Ah, you're familiar with Harriet and you're exactly right. 

Harriet was 176 years young and the oldest tortoise ever continuously observed. In a brain-melting fact, Harriet was cared for by both Charles Darwin and Steve Irwin. Think about that. Harriet was first found in 1835 and was still alive and later taken care of by Steve Irwin. Harriet died in 2006 causing the island to enter a stage of mourning. 

Anyway, that was just one of the fascinating stories that PFT told. Check out the full episode here to learn about my newest wildlife buddies -- the blue-footed boobie.