Dana White Left An INSANE Tip At John's Of Bleecker Pizza On Saturday

Carmen Mandato. Getty Images.

Saturday night, the UFC descended upon New York City for their big slate of fights at Madison Square Garden. Whenever the UFC is in town, the city feels different: combative, testy, fucking jacked up. It's awesome, and the homeless people who might typically prowl the subway platforms for some unsuspecting passenger to push onto the tracks… take the night off. I think they know somehow that tonight ain't it, pal. Because every 25-year-old guy somehow thinks he knows enough BJJ to be the hero Gotham needs. For one night at least.  

I left a dear friend's wedding a few sheets to the wind, right around when Jon Jones was shattering Stipe Miocic's ribcage, spleen, kidney, and soul. Drunk and hungry, I walked through the village looking for the highest-rated Dave Portnoy pizza I could find. But all roads lead to John's of Bleecker, which received a whopping 9.4 from our dear leader:

It's disorienting to go back and watch a review from eight (!) years ago. Dave changes the score from 9.2 to 9.3 to 9.4 in a matter of 40 seconds. It's Frankie, not Austin, holding the camera with that same steady hand he now uses to push putts above the hole (congrats to Frankie and his lovely wife as they are expecting. No further comment). And Dave is eating the pizza with a fork and a knife, with a salad as an appetizer, admitting he's done six reviews already that day. There's a grittiness to these early reviews that feels charming now, even though it's not the well-oiled production of today. 

John's had stopped seating people inside by the time I arrived, but the kitchen was still taking pizza orders for another few minutes. They don't sell slices because they make everything fresh, and I ordered my full pie before I was harassed by some young woman from out of town who wanted to purchase a few single slices from me as she did not want an entire pie to herself. This infuriated me. I knew I likely wouldn't eat the whole pie. But I did not want that reality to manifest before I was ready to admit to it. What's more, if I had a few slices left at the end, those were mine to do with as I so pleased. As it turned out, I offered them to a homeless man who was pulling half-drunk cans of soda from a trash can and finishing them, so I figured he wouldn't be too exacting about what he put in his body. Wrong:

As I waited for my pizza, another patron pointed to the wall of windows featuring various celebrities whom John's had welcomed over the years. "There's Dana," he said, pointing to an old photo of UFC CEO Dana White. 

"He came in earlier today actually," piped up an employee nearby. "Left a $2,000 tip. Biggest tip I've ever seen since I started working here." 

Two thousand bucks, folks. I fucking cum to this shit. I LOVE finding out when wealthy celebrities tip generously. 

I still remember a story years ago about Peyton Manning ADDING a $200 tip on top of a hefty dinner bill that already included 18% gratuity. It cemented Peyton in my mind as a good dude who goes beyond when it comes to the hospitality industry. Unfortunately, the waiter who posted the photo of the tip was then fired for breaching some untold privacy policy. For my money, it's perfectly fine to post something that makes a famous patron look good. Hell, I once considered paying a waiter to take a photo of a giant tip I left and tweet it of his own accord. But then my tuna steak came out gray and the cocktails weren't balanced so I realized I'd only be doing him a disservice by honoring such poor service, teaching him that he'd be rewarded for subpar performance which would only cripple his work ethic in the long term. I then left no tip to keep him hungry—the best gift you can give to a waiter. 

Well, Dana White's $2000 tip makes Peyton's $200 tip (equaling a 50% gratuity) look like a slap in the face. It's probably safe to assume that Dana ate at John's of Bleecker with a few people. Maybe they ordered 5-10 pizzas? Impossible to know, but at $25 a pie plus a few drinks, we might assume a $300-400 bill. Which means that a $2000 tip is somewhere in the ballpark of… SIX HUNDRED PERCENT. A 600% tip! I'd have to have the waiter playing that stoneface blowjob game under the table for me and five buddies to justify a tip of that magnitude. Dana White, you are a man of AND for the people. 

These famous people never know when, or if, someone will share publicly the huge tip they gave. Which is all the more reason that I wanted to write this blog. This wasn't some news story I read online; this was some shit I heard first-hand, on the streets, and it deserves to be known that Dana White hands out record-setting tips at pizza joints without any cameras around. John Wooden said that the true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching. I'll repurpose that a bit and say the true measure of a man's generosity is how much he tips when no internet bloggers are sitting at the adjacent table. 

Dana White, you are a king among us.

PS- I'm sorry for now setting the bar for every restaurant you enter to expect tips of this size.