Guy Fieri And Sammy Hagar Had A Million Dollars Worth Of Tequila Stolen, Which Has Me Wondering: Is Guy Fieri The Victim Or A Genius Marketer?

People- Guy Fieri and Sammy Hagar are reeling after their joint tequila business was involved in a devastating incident.

Fieri tells PEOPLE exclusively that two trucks carrying their Santo Tequila bottles have gone missing after being hijacked in Laredo, Texas.

The trucks were transporting 4,040 cases of tequila, or 24,240 bottles, including Santo blanco, reposado and a specially-made extra añejo, which took 39 months to create.

Santo president Dan Butkus estimates the total loss to be about $1 million, with the effects on their supply chain to be even greater.

"We've worked so hard," says Fieri. "This is our best year we've ever had in Santo. We just had all this momentum, and now whatever's on the shelf is all people are going to get."

The company's distiller in Mexico is "on a 24/7 schedule right now" trying to replenish the supply, according to Fieri.

However, he warns that the holiday season, their busiest time of year for sales, will see a shortage of Santo.

"Our distiller is an independent distiller who's dependent on our sales for his livelihood and that of his team," Butkus says. "My sales team, my marketing team, the entire Santo Spirits team is dependent upon these sales. ... That's sort of the piece that's most hurtful to me. We've got to support these people both at the distillery and in the U.S., and we can't do it right now without the revenue from these cases."

First off, whoever planned this heist clearly has a death wish. Or they don't understand who they’re messing with. You don’t cross Guy Fieri and just walk away. This is the man who’s survived Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives for 16 seasons without developing a cholesterol problem. The man who’s turned "Flavortown" into a cultural institution. He’s not just a celebrity chef-  he’s a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy, frosted tips, and colossal burgers. 

If I were the mastermind behind this heist, I’d be watching my back because Guy is coming for you.

This is like when Larry and Marv thought they were simply knocking off a bunch of waspy-suburban mansions, left abandoned by their wealthy owners and families who were on exotic vacations for the holidays, only to find out the 12 year old of their worst nightmares was set to rain down hell on them.

This is too bad. Guy is the fucking best. He was actually just in La Scarola two weeks ago visiting our friends Armando and Joey, and pouring Santo tequila down everybody's throats with Armando. 

Hagar’s rep claims it was an organized crime job. The kind of thing you’d expect to see in a Hollywood script, not a Food Network segment.

BUT, what if there is more to this story than meets the eye? 

This is pure speculation, but let's not forget that Guy is a marketing wizard. Scoff at that statement all you want. But just remember the man has built an entire empire on Donkey Sauce and catchphrases. 

One of my favorite authors, Seth Godin, is marketing guru and author of books like Purple Cow, which teaches that to stand out in a crowded market, you’ve got to be remarkable. You’ve got to be a “purple cow” in a field of boring, brown cows. So, what’s more remarkable than two truckloads of your precious tequila that you’re trying to make a name for, getting hijacked right before the holiday rush? This isn’t just a setback; it’s a headline. And in the spirits industry, where every brand is fighting tooth and nail for shelf space and consumer attention, headlines are everything.

Makes you think. That’s all I’m saying. 

Think about it: a tequila heist is practically the stuff of legends. It’s not exactly the Lufthansa Heist, but it’s got all the elements of a great story- crime, intrigue, a beloved celebrity chef, and a rock star. 

You couldn’t script it better if you tried. 

And now, every media outlet from People Magazine to Fox News is talking about Santo Spirits. That’s publicity you can’t buy. 

Here’s another nugget from the Seth Godin School of Marketing- “the manufactured scarcity angle.” Fieri himself said, “Whatever’s on the shelf is all people are going to get.” 

Boom. 

That’s how you turn a loss into a win. Limited supply equals increased demand. The tequila that’s left is suddenly an exclusive commodity. 

And let’s not forget Sammy in all this. 

Hagar, ever the rock star, said the theft was a “huge setback” but added that they’ll survive. Of course they will. This isn’t their first rodeo. Guy and Sammy aren’t the types to cry over spilled tequila. If anything, this heist has given them an even bigger platform to tell their story. 

And tell their story they will. Just watch.

Will they actually find the culprits? Who knows? My money’s on the tequila already being sold off in some shady backroom deal. But that doesn’t matter. Because in the end, Guy Fieri and Sammy Hagar are going to come out of this stronger than ever.

And mark my words: the next time you see Santo Tequila, it’ll be accompanied by a cheeky little sign that says, “The tequila so good, someone had to steal it.”

p.s. - this is gold