Belichick's Girlfriends, Past & Present, are the Co-Winners of Halloween 2024

Many have tried to claim the throne of Halloween. Charlie Brown. Jack Skellington. David S. Pumpkins. The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror" series. Adam Sandler. Every single sitcom episode where there's a party and everyone is in improbably perfect, Hollywood-quality costumes and nobody halfasses it. Even, back in the old days, Barstool's Wicked Halloween Party. 

But since the debut of NFL Network's A Football Life 15 years ago, the holiday has belonged to one man. The football genius, hitting Randy Moss' roller rink party in full pirate regalia, with his best wench on his arm:

This day will be celebrated with his iconic, "Candy and costumes! What could be better?" from this day until the last Halloween on Earth. 

Naturally you can't love a holiday as much as Bill Belichick does Halloween without attracting like-minded people. And so it is that the ladies in his life, past and present, each joined in the celebration this year. With vaguely Belichick-related costumes:

First Jordon Hudson went back to his roots as Sexy New York Giants Defensive Coordinator:

While Linda Holliday rocked the Uma Thurman/Beatrix Kiddo outfit, pulling it off as only a Cougar of her caliber could:

Of course, this is 2024, so people are terrible. Instead of just accepting that an insanely attractive, older woman who has kept it tight wants to have fun dressing up as an iconic, Samurai sword-wielding assassin, they're going to spin Kill Bill as a not-so-subtle dig as the man she's no longer romantically involved with:

Well you'd better think again. However Bill and Linda's parting of the ways went down, this is not a situation where shots are being fire now that it's over. This isn't The Dynasty docuseries where they made him out to be some kind of a war criminal. This isn't Eliot Wolf suggesting the roster he inherited is awful or Jerod Mayo suggesting the team he drafted and developed is "soft." Sorry to disappoint you, but not sorry:

Hear, hear:

It's always sad when a beautiful couple breaks up. But you know what isn't sad? One of them finding true love once again. This time with a new partner who on Halloween dresses up like he used to 25 years before she was born. That's something we can all celebrate. 

And we can also take pleasure in knowing that the woman in that relationship is still thriving after the breakup. Still a strong, vibrant, beautiful, independent woman who looks incredible in yellow leather. Who holds no ill will toward her ex. Who is still dog mom to their beloved Nike. And who even has it in her to say what needs to be said about the state of American comedy these days. We could use more edgy, irreverent, 1990s-style humor to be sure. And we can use a lot more people with Linda Holliday's attitude. This Halloween and all the Halloweens to come. 

It's often been said you can judge someone by the company they keep. That goes for the people they date as well. And you know Bill Belichick has to be a special man to attract such amazing ladies.