What Country On Earth Loves Dick The Most? The Answer Resides In The Himalayan Mountains

Let’s not beat around the bush here. KB likes Bhutan for one big reason. Cock. 

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Bhutan might be known for its serene mountains and peaceful vibes, but the second you step foot in a Bhutanese village, you’re greeted by a sight you’d least expect. Folks, we're talking giant, colorful phallic symbols painted all over the joint. And I’m not talking about subtle artwork here. We’re talking cartoonishly oversized, anatomically accurate, multi-colored penises, often with faces- sometimes covered in semen! WHOA! You’d think this was some kind of prank, but no—this is serious business in Bhutan. 

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KB filled us in on how this tradition goes back to a 15th-century monk, Drukpa Kunley—the “Divine Madman”—who thought the best way to keep away evil spirits was to wield his, Thunderbolt of Flaming Wisdom with all the confidence in the world.

 Turns out, painting phallic symbols on your house is like the Bhutanese version of a good luck charm. Beautiful!

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In Bhutan, life isn't all about cock or money. It's about happiness too and they mean it. You know how every country talks about wanting to keep people happy? That we wanna bring back JOY and whathaveyou? Well, Bhutan actually measures it. They have a Gross National Happiness (GNH) index instead of the usual GDP. GNH means they’re actually out here tracking how content their citizens are and making policies based on that. Weird right? That being said, they do unfortunately have really high suicide rates so the proof isn't in the pudding yet. In my opinion, people don't kill themselves if their happiness is off the charts. Bhutan is working on it though, probably. 

But this happiness index has kept them safe from the mess of over-tourism and Western influence. You can’t just waltz into Bhutan. They charge tourists a daily fee that keeps the casuals out, which KB says “keeps the place from turning into the Vegas of the Himalayas," and they cap the number of people that can come each year. No word if they cap the people who cum each year though. Doubtful because that would lower happiness scales in a big big way. 

Anyway, I didn't know a shit ton about Bhutan before we started researching for this episode. The place really is remarkable but I gotta say that their taste in drinks is fuckin gross. I dunno why but I'd rather have a delicious mango high noon than one of their signature yak butter drinks. Yak butter tea is a staple in the most mountainous country on earth and I gotta admit, the thought of downing a glass or two grosses me the fuck out. Imagine mixing butter, salt, and tea and thinking, “Yes, that’s a drink that I should consume every day.” But I guess that's what you do when you live in high-altitude Bhutanese villages and need the extra calories.