A Sewage Pipe In Moscow Apparently Exploded And Caused A Giant Geyser Of Shit To Rain Down From Hundreds Of Feet In The Air

First of all, I put apparently in the headline since I haven't trusted a thing to come out of Russia since they were the bad guys in all of the movies I watched growing up in the 80s. But still, talk about a shitty situation that must really stink for everyone that lives around there!

(Waits for canned audience laughter to subside)

Okay seriously, as a dyed in red, white, and blue American, I have never had a shred of interest in living in Russia for my entire life. Part of that was Cold War propaganda, part of that was cold hard facts, part of that was the preposterous shit you would see on the internet that seemed like just a normal day in Russia.

However despite all those factors, there is no amount of dollar or rubles or whatever the fuck they use in Russia you could pay me to go to the neighborhood where this happened. There are certain things that happen in life you cannot get out of your head, like the smell of a subway train with a maybe dead homeless person or walking in on a family member having sex. You can throw the sight, smell, sound, and probably even taste of a gigantic geyser of shit on that list as well. I know that if I moved there after the literal shitstorm, I would have avoided that hellish fate. But there is zero doubt in my mind that the wonderful infrastructure of Russia would lead to this happening time after time, just like it did at the Washington Football Team's stadium when they were also being run by a evil tyrant.