I Want To Pass Along A Little Halloween Costume Hack For All The Young Guys Going Out This Weekend

Fellas, gather 'round. Uncle Chief would like to pass along some wisdom on the perfect Halloween move for this magical holiday season. Halloween is a young person's holiday. It's an event. As I learned yesterday, it's day girls start planning months in advance. There's so much to see. The girls are all dressed to the nines while wearing something inherently and forgivably slutty. For guys, it's a lot harder. You don't want to think too much. You don't want to spend too much. According to Ella if you put in too much effort into your costume it gives girls "the ick". I've got your solution. Brawny Man. If you're unfamiliar, Brawny man is a paper towel brand. Big, strong, dude whole just cleans up messes for housewives across this great nation. 

It's easy. Almost every guy has a flannel shirt and jeans. If you don't they're simple enough to find at target. Then you simply carry around a roll of paper towels. 

It's the perfect icebreaker. You see a group of slutty mermaids, slutty Britney Spears, slutty girl from Breakfast at Tiffany's (a favorite of mine) and you say "hey ladies, let me get that spill for you" and you wipe down their table. They love it. You solved a problem for them. It's a great approach. You make a little joke, get one of their names, stick around for like 30 seconds and get one of their names and then say "Hey, Katie, if this happens again I will be right over there" or "hey Katie, if this happens again, I am only a phone call away". Katie will almost always say "well, I don't have your number" and you say "actually, why don't I get your number. I'll call to check in on you". Mission accomplished. You're funny, you made an impression, you put minimal effort in to your costume, and you got a number. If your goal was to take the girl home that night…I am probably not your guy. I was never good at that. This move can get you a date though. 100%. I used this costume and move for YEARS. It works wonders. I am not particularly handsome guy. I am not a particularly smooth guy. It still worked wonders for me. I've retired from slutty halloween. I want to pass this along like the book in "American Pie". People should benefit from. Don't take my word for it, look how Ella and Hannah reacted just hearing about this move.