Illinois Man Named Jim Bolin Now Holds An Astonishing 12 Guinness World Records

WGN - Jim Bolin, a businessman in Casey IL, is featured in the book with some of his giant inventions. He joined the show to discuss.

I was watching WGN Morning Show today like a good practicing Chicagoland native with access to WGN when they aired arguably my favorite story in the entire history of the WGN Morning Show. 

And while I know this is hyper local in so many respects, I have no choice but to share Jim Bolin with you guys. 

Bolin not Boylen

The story is outstanding: 

The follow-ups are many. I'll limit myself: 

3. I should be in the World Record Business. What a marvelous concept to rip people off into unnecessary certification. Like how physical therapists are forced into as much school as an anesthesiologist (no spell check). Especially if you can get local/state/federal funding into your business plan. Then it's a no brainer, which is exactly why I see a huge market in local record keeping, generally. Imagine being able to say you're the Tallest Guy This Side Of The Mississippi and really mean it. Or more locally, imagine knowing you actually have the biggest house in XYZ level radius. Or whatever records you guys want to keep. Technology these days says we should be able to have customizable record keeping without the burden of handwriting the Guinness World Record team every 6 months to certify another wind chime. Or something like that. We could easily create a business model off the premise of proverbial dick-measuring like this. Someone please follow up with me on this and we'll start the business. 

2. Would You Rather Be A Big Fish In A Small Pond Or Whatever? I'm watching Jim Bolin and I think to myself - this man is a king. And I mean that in every sense of the word. He basically owns/invented the modern day Casey, IL which is conveniently located 2-3 hours from 3 major Midwestern metropolises. There's the family business and local familiarity that lends itself to comfortable habits and close relationships. You're outside even the most extreme hurricane modeling with a fraction of the flood plane risk, which the government is paying for anyways. Same thing goes with crop insurance - an obvious and actively desired commodity in Jim's neck of the woods. All of it together leads me to the same conclusion: I see Jim Bolin and I say That's good living. 

Howdy neighbor 

Hey Jim - what's new? 

Oh nothing just about to break ground on the World's largest blidet. 

Out by the new truck stop? 

Yep… 57 feet 

whistles Water pressure coming along? 

Working on it. 

I bet. Shit. 57 feet ain't no joke

And then Jim goes and builds the largest bidet with elite water pressure and everyone calls him king to a throne no one else can hold.

Sure sounds like Jim

But then I wonder - would life be more enjoyable without enduring the burden of 12 world records? Couldn't he just post up in the West Loop and enjoy an Italian sammy from JP Grazinano? Wouldn't a high quality life amongst the many outweigh the cost of being #1 year after year after year? 

And when I think about it like that - it's easy to remember Jim owns the fuckin pond and every fish in it. 

That's called being a Jim. 

1. Cy Young 749 CG's Is The Hardest Record In Sports - This has nothing to do with Jim or World Records in general. Just an opportunity for me to say I think Cy Young's 749 complete games is the single most unbeatable record in all of sports. I could be wrong on this, but my research says that's #1. If you have a better record, please respectfully leave it in the comments below for further review. 

PS - Jim rocks