Douche Ravens Assaultist Takes Huge L During Perp Walk

I mean this guy is getting all the karmic forces of evil on him right now. Like this dude in a blue button-down, getting a perp walk for slugging Commanders fans is just a terrible visual. I have no idea how you would do PR for this guy. 

I mean the entire internet has crashed down on this guy so hard. He deserves all of it, but it's looking like he is never going to live this down again in his life. 

I don't know if I would rather get the death penalty or the complete destruction of character and online persona. This guy will probably never be able to live a regular life again. I know it sounds like I'm sympathizing for the guy, but I am putting myself in his shoes as to how I would reform my life. 

1. Go to rehab. 

2. Make up a story about how he mistakenly thought those Commanders fans attacked him first somewhere else. 

3. Convert to Buddhism (likely in prison)

4. Become a Pacificist influencer and talk about how sorry you are for your past actions and repentance. 

5. Make a video with the victims and get on hands and knees begging for forgiveness. 

6. Become the victim's indentured servant and/or bodyguard.

This is his only path to any sort of life again. 

Awesome to see this story come to an end with justice.