Live EventNew York Looks to Continue Shutout Against Guardians in Game 3 of the ALCS | Barstool Electric ChairWatch Now
Stella Blue Coffee | Limited Edition Winter Flavors Have ArrivedSHOP NOW

Our Prayers Have Been Answered As John Henry And Fenway Sports Group Are No Longer Pursuing Buying The Celtics

As the defending NBA Champion Boston Celtics prepare for their ring and banner night next week and their ensuing title defense, one thing we still have no idea about is who the hell is even a finalist for buying the team. I'm not even really sure when we're going to have an idea of who Wyc (aka his dad Irv) will select as it sounds like the process is still in the early stages. 

Maybe the preseason games in Abu Dhabi were a preview for our new potential Saudi oil money overlords. Maybe Jeff Bezos is actually interested despite publicly saying he isn't which is the most obvious rich person diversion tactic of all time. Maybe it's going to stay in-house with Pags and his own group of investors. The point is it's anyone's guess as to who it's going to be. 

The one thing I think every single Celtics fan on the planet universally agreed on is that in no way shape or form could it be John Henry and Fenway Sports Group. My stance on this topic is pretty simple, as I've created 4 very clear rules for Wyc and Irv to follow as they look for a potential buyer:


1. You must accept and bow down to our lord and savior Brad Stevens. He calls the shots, you do what he wants without questioning it.

2. You must be willing to spend hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars on luxury tax and second apron penalties to keep this roster together for as long as this current window is open

3. You believe in Mazzulla Ball and everything it stands for

4. You are not John Henry and FSG

To me, those seem pretty reasonable and should be the requirement for any potential candidate. The thing is, ever since Wyc announced the team was up for sale it's been hard to know what to believe. Just last month you had WEEI reporting that John Henry and FSG were a top 3 finalist along with Jeff Bezos and Steve Wynn

Well, here we are a month later and it seems as though Henry and FSG are now officially out?

Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.

I for one could not be more supportive of John Henry and FSG in this new endeavor! Why pay out the nose for the Celtics when you can use that money to create a new team and arena in Vegas amirite? I love that move for them.

Now, does FSG backing out mean a selection has been made, and that news is about to drop? Maybe. Who knows. Maybe they were informed their bid wasn't accepted and this is a classic "you can't break up with me, I'm breaking up with you!" moment. Frankly, I don't give a shit. What matters is that FSG is out (if we're to believe this reporting) and that potential nightmare looks to be avoided. 

The Celts sale is tricky because on one hand, you're buying the current champions who are positioned well to contend for the foreseeable future and is the greatest franchise in the history of the sport. On the other hand, if you care about making money on your investment, the Celts not owning their own arena is a big-time kick in the dick. It's not crazy to think that if someone is shelling out $5-6B, they'd probably want their own arena or at least a path to building a new arena, two things that are a bit of an issue currently. That's why part of me feels like it needs to be someone with more money than God (Bezos/Saudi overlords) or someone like Pags who may not give a shit about the arena because he's already been a part owner for 20+ years. 

The main point here though is that John Henry is not going to be anywhere near this team and this franchise. Sure there was a time when he cared and he put up the resources to turn around the Red Sox, and he deserves credit for that. But it's pretty obvious if you follow the Sox that his approach has changed. Given where the Celts' payroll is headed, having John Henry calling the shots would have been a disaster.

But make no mistake, that's why I have Rule #2 listed above. Not having Henry involved is a relief, but that doesn't change the fact that whoever ends up being the choice has to commit to putting up the cash to keep this window open as long as possible. Whether that's Pags, Bezos, whoever. If you can't afford it, don't try and buy the team.