Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 2 | No One is Safe With Survival at StakeWATCH NOW

Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 6: Patriots vs. Texans

Things to consider while lecturing your family that, in this house, Drake Maye is a hero:

--This is going to have to be an abbreviated KJR, because today is a very sacred holiday to my people. And by "my people," I'm referring to my friends and family who were at the wedding I officiated at 3:30 yesterday. Especially my sons who came in from out of state. We only got to watch the 1st half while we were getting ready, and I've only gotten to watch the highlights from the 2nd half at this point. I'm sure I'll get more granular on this one as the week goes on. But I haven't missed posting a Knee Jerk since the Thursday nighter in 2008 when Brett Favre and the Jets beat Matt Cassel's Pats. And it bothers me to this day. So here's a Cliff Notes version of the usual 2,000 word post. Then I can go back to celebrating that most sacred part of my ethnic heritage, which is nursing a hangover. 

--It was only fitting they had the Pat Patriot uniforms, because this turned out to be a throwback game. Fortunately not because Drake Maye looked or played like 1993 Scott Secules. But because this one harkened back to some of those teams of the early 2010s that couldn't make a stop on defense or run the ball, but won anyway because the quarterback overcame all their flaws. Obviously we're not there yet with Maye. But when the one thing you've got for you is your rookie QB putting together drives, finishing them off, scoring the most points you've had all season, throwing more touchdown passes than you had in the other five games combined? That's a win, given what the mission of this season is. 

--If there's been on constant in the five year offensive Bear Market this franchise has been experiencing, it's that they simply cannot win matchups. Whether they go two wide, five wide, or any wide in between, invariably the defender lining up opposite them has the edge in talent. Pats receivers have had to be schemed open because they haven't been good enough to shake coverage. Or the talent to win the contested catches. Then they haven't had a quarterback with the arm to throw them open. That is, until now. 

--Maye's touchdown to Kayshon Boutte (the career first for both) is the pluperfect example. Boutte had, what? Half a step on Derek Stingley? One-third? Let's call it 2/5ths. He gained separation with a jab step inside to get outside release, got over the top of his defender, and Maye hit him in the palms with a laser-guided sniper round:

Just shy of 50 air yards on that throw. Which is the kind of thing we haven't seen around here since our Jokers were remembered for blowing up hospitals, not doing song and dance numbers. That play simply does not happen with any of the empty idols and false prophets we've been following in Foxboro since the end of 2019. 

--I mean, look at Maye's spray chart (Pro tip: Be careful asking Siri, "Show me Maye's spray chart." You might not get the result you were looking for.) from NextGen and tell me the last time you saw this many attempts of over 10 yards:

One of the real dangers of continuing to stick with Jacoby Brissett was the damage being done to a young receiver corps by lack of use. Which can be permanent at this stage of their development, like when a kid misses too much school and falls behind, often for good. If nothing else, it was time to get Maye in so he can start developing chemistry with these guys. 

--Just not with Tyquan Thornton:

--Get over yourself, kid. Believe me, as I demonstrated on the dance floor yesterday, there's plenty enough shame being put on the Thornton name. We don't need help from a guy with more hurt feelings than ability. That post literally has more words in it than he has receptions on the season.

--Getting back to developing young players, give me that guy who's screwed up and bounces back from it. A closer who blows a save. A point guard who misses free throws in crunch time. A golfer who puts his approach in the drink. But they're able to deal with it, process it, learn from it, and move on. I'll take the young guy who's overcome adversity of his own making every time because they've already proven their mental toughness. Which Maye demonstrated on this touchdown to Pop Douglas (his career first as well), which was on the same route concept as the interception he sailed over Douglas' head on the second possession:

This was yet another example of a Pats wideout defeating man coverage and Maye laying it out for him in the perfect spot.  A simple concept in 2024's NFL. But for us, something that's been rarer than funny SNL bits the past few years. I guess both are making a comeback

--Before we move on from the receivers, it's becoming clear that Ja'Lynn Polk has a drops problem. One that's gone beyond just a couple of tough ones, and now might be a full-on case of the Yips. He had two yesterday on four targets, and both were on 3rd downs. I'm not saying they should stop throwing to him. Though Tom Brady would've completely wiped Polk's existence from his mental database by now. But until he works through this, if your house is on fire and Polk is standing under you window telling you to toss your child down to him, I suggest waiting for the firemen.

--I'd love to give Maye all the credit for Hunter Henry's TD, but that was just a well designed, perfectly executed play action:

Still, 2023 Mac Jones might have still found a way to turn that into a Pick-6. So take your victories where you can find them. 

--Which brings us to some of Alex Van Pelt's other play design. It's hard to imagine the screen game being any worse than it is right now. It's been a disaster all season, but yesterday every time they tried to run one, it looked like bumper cars.  It's very possible they have a "tell" that's tipping defense's off. That's how it looked on the interception that got tipped by Will Anderson. (And by the way, how weird must that play have been for Austin Hooper? He's five yards upfield, blocking on what he thinks is an Antonio Gibson screen, only to have Eric Martin wrap him in a choke hold and end up with the ball in his hand. He had to have felt like a kid when his grandpa pretends to pull a quarter out his ear.) Then again, maybe the "tell" is having an offensive line that consists of (L to R) Zach Thomas, Michael Jordan, Ben Brown, Michael Onwenu, and Demontrey Jacobs. While 40% of those guys have famous names, only 20% are legitimate NFL starters. And to be fair to the other 80%, they were all waiver claims or recent signees. Brown was making the line calls, and he'd been on the roster for all of two practices and the Saturday walk through. So it should come as no shock that they couldn't pull off a screen or that Anderson spent more time in the Patriots backfield than the referee. 

--I should acknowledge Maye was not perfect. He missed throws. Though one of them that he threw behind Hooper was, I think, an act of mercy because if he had actually led him, it would've been like bumper cars the way Rashee Rice does them. But take his 20-for-33, 243 yard afternoon, whisk in his ability to make throws out of structure (like the 30 yarder he hit Hunter Henry with on a scramble), then fold in his rushing yards:

And we're winning this Great NFL Bake Off. Not now; the Cake Stand trophy is Jayden Daniels' and Jayden Daniels' alone. But for the rest of this season and beyond, this 22-year-old is all upside. 

--Defensively, I could never picture them being dominated the way they were. Sure, the officials didn't do them any favors keeping that opening drive alive with phantom DPI calls. (Where is Gene Skeratore when we could actually use an explanation, like on that bogus 3rd & goal penalty on Marte Mapu?) And the turnovers didn't help. But the real story was them getting physically pushed around. And Houston's ability to put more blockers at the point of attack than the Pats had defenders. Time and time again. 

--Look at how many white jerseys there are on Mapu, Anfernee Jennings and Raekwaon McMillan on Dameon Pierce's touchdown run:

It was like a bloody calvary charge against infantry. And happened repeatedly, with two runs north of 50 yards and other of 20. If you can't win either side of the line of scrimmage, the rest is all just a waste of time. 

--In addition, they still don't have a solution for their perennial Stefon Diggs problem. Diggs has always had a cheat code that puts him in God Mode against New England, and this was no exception. Though Christian Gonzalez did start playing him better after Diggs drew that taunting penalty on him after his touchdown. As a matter of fact, after Gonzalez hit the ground defending another end zone pass, Diggs came over and lifted him up. So maybe there's some respect there. Regardless, the best way to defend him is to face him once every three years instead of twice a year.

--This Week's Applicable Movie Quote: "You refer to the prophesy of The One who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it's this boy?" - Mace Windu, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

--So next week is Patriots-Jaguars from London? I appreciate getting the game out of the way nice and early. But I'm pretty sure  sending two 1-5 teams violates the NATO treaty.