Japan Apparently Hates To Party, Invents Beer Glass That Makes You Drink Slower
Get a load of these nerds. Uhhh hey, Japan. Ever heard of a little thing called rock n' roll? One of the best parts about drinking is the social aspect of it. And let me tell ya, nothing gets the fellas all riled up quite like ripping through another round of some ice cold crispy brews in record time. I'm not trying to gas my beers out of a sippy cup. That's the behavior of a dude who wears a bathing suit to shower. By the time you're halfway through with that thing, the beer is already going to be piss warm. Coincidentally, the only people who would drink out of this thing have probably tasted their own piss before. Absolute freaks.
This just goes to show how superior American ingenuity is compared to Japanese. They want to make a glass that forces you to drink a beer in 45 minutes. Meanwhile, America has invented this marvel of modern technology and human excellency.
Imagine someone from Japan trying one of these bad boys out? They'd shit their pants.
But that's what makes America the greatest country in the world. We dare to go where others could only dream about. You want a bottle that allows you to guzzle down 12 fluid ounces of fine pilsner in 2.7 seconds? We'll find a way to make it happen. Not because we want to, but because it's our duty as Americans to find a way. God bless ice cold beer, God bless all of you, and God Bless America.