YOU GOTTA TRY THIS- All Things Dominican

MICHAEL DANTAS. Getty Images.

CONFESSION TIME- 

I know very little about the Dominican Republic.

Sure, I can point to it on a map, but beyond that, I don't much about its history, people, or culture. And if you aren't questioning why I put a picture of half-naked Brazilian women at the beginning of this blog and in the thumbnail, then chances are you know very little about the DR either.

To change that, I am going to journey down a rabbit hole of Dominican cuisine to see what I can pick up.

First up, I went down to NYC's Chinatown to lose my virginity to a Dominican Smashburger at El Sazón RD…

Solid experience from beginning to end, but if you look at the comment section, several people commented that $10 is too steep of a price to pay for a double-Smashburger with fried cheese. Maybe these mouth-breathers never got the memo that shit is very expensive nowadays, ESPECIALLY in New York City. And I can only imagine the look on their greasy pimple-laden faces when they find out you have to cough up over $7 for a fucking Big Mac just a couple of blocks away… Whiny cunts.

(Kid Mero is Dominican, btw)

Secondly, I went to a fusion joint that made headlines during the pandemic selling scallion pancake burritos off of their fire escape.

It's called Forsythe Fire Escape, and they are filling traditionally Chinese scallion pancakes with Dominican goodness. Check it out…

I think I said it in the video, but I'll reiterate that this thing is a "flavor bomb"… Probably not the type of dish where you could eat 2 in one sitting, but definitely the type of dish you will want to eat twice a week. 

And the last stop on my Dominican food crawl brings me to the great state of New Jersey, where a place called Sandwichitos served me up my first Dominican breakfast sandwich…

I don't think this is how Dominican people eat breakfast every day, but I now think that fried salami is an elite breakfast meat AND, whether you're making a burger, burrito, or breakfast sandwich, fried Dominican cheese hace que todo sea mejor.

Take a report.

-Large