Dog Owners Have Gone Too Far
You heard it here first folks, we’re out on dogs…dog owners that is. At a certain point we crossed a threshold from being a good dog owner to letting the dog control your entire life and a stop must be put to it fast. It’s like when the star player on the team starts calling the shots instead of the coach. If you don’t snuff that out quick enough the team is gonna lose all respect for you and it’s gonna lead to things like your dog shooting darts through you while they take a shit.
I blame it on those 25-30 year olds who are becoming first time dog owners as we speak now. It’s not even really their fault, but they grew up during an era where Air Bud and Beethoven (the dog) were all the rage. For some reason dogs couldn’t just BE dogs for a bit there, they had to have a special ability. They watched Air Bud splash a few threes as a kid and it fucked the whole power system up! Now those kids feel bad treating their dog like…a dog.
The Pup Cups from Starbucks were the final nail in the coffin I think. If we had nothing else, we at least had the separation of food between humans and dogs, but now that line is even blurred! People feel legitimately bad now if they’re coming back from Starbucks empty handed for their dog. I’m old enough to remember a time where normal dog food with a little turkey sprinkled in was enough*.
Dogs need to get that DOG back in them. It’s like Apollo said in Rocky 3, “The way to get it back is to go back to the beginning”. I’m talking wet dog food. I’m talking chasing after the neighborhood cat. I’m talking pissing on fire hydrants.
*Except for Miss Peaches. Our queen deserves everything coming her way.
Listen to today’s pod for everyone’s full thoughts on the matter. One of the funniest people in comedy right now, Mike Cannon, joined for the whole show today so definitely tune in.