This Oil Painting Of An Uncrustable Sold For $5,000, Which Is Massively Undervalue For Such A Work Of Art
Some things in life are just so beautiful that you need to find a way to capture that beauty in the form of art. A sunset, a naked woman, waves crashing on the shore. You can go ahead and add Uncrustables to that list.
The Uncrustable is one of mankind's most miraculous achievements. Somehow they have managed to find the exact perfect ratio of peanut butter to jelly. I'm not some child who needs the crust cut off of my sandwiches, but the texture of the crimp-sealed bread is spectacularly smooth without any crust involved. You take one out of the freezer in the morning, put it in your bag to go to the beach in the afternoon, and by the time you're ready to eat it the sandwich has thawed out just enough that each and every bite is this divine combination of silkiness and saltiness and sweetness. It's goddamn terrific.
Now truthfully speaking, I never understood when paintings would sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. I just didn't get art like that. No piece ever spoke to me enough for me to truly appreciate it's worth in a monetary value. That is, of course, until I saw this oil painting of the Uncrustable.
And my jaw hit the friggin' floor when I saw this thing only sold for $5k.
Are you kidding me? The Mona Lisa is worth over a billion dollars and that's just some painting of the most mid chick you've ever seen. Mona Lisa looks like she has 4 cats and home, and exclusively eats off of paper plates. Hell, I must be feeling pretty generous today even considering her to be mid. And THAT'S worth over a billion dollars? Are you kidding me?
This Uncrustable clears the Mona Lisa in every way imaginable. I figured you'd have to be a multimillionaire to even consider having the original of this painting hanging up in your home. Not some kid who just hit a big Anytime Touchdown Scorer parlay and has a few extra thousand to blow. Maybe I just still don't understand art because to me, this should have gone for at least six figures. Especially if it was purchased around lunch time.
Sidenote: I'm almost certain that Uncrustables don't advertise with Barstool but I'm willing to write a blog per week about them if they want to send me a year's supply.