Philadelphia Has Never Heard Of The Concept Of Pacing, Started Firing Up The Tailgate At 5:30 This Morning For 8:15 Game
There have been a few major companies who have considered putting a headquarters in Philly. And now that I think about it, I think I realize why it never works out--the NFL season is getting longer and longer. It seems like they're constantly trying to add more weeks to the season. And the more games there are, that means the more days where nobody in Philadelphia gets a lick of work done.
I mean look at this fella right here. I mean, sure, he has the arm sleeve tattoos and the beard dyed green. But he still looks like he's a contributing member of society. That is, of course, outside of the days when the Philadelphia Eagles are playing a home game. It's Monday morning at 5:30am and this man already has the propane torch fired up to get the smoker going. And if he didn't have the propane torch, he would have been out there at 4:45 in the morning to get the charcoal lit in a chimney.
This guy might have a crazy beard but he still has the majority of his teeth and can string together a few coherent sentences. He's probably a contributing member of society in some form or another. But not on a Monday when the Birds have their home opener. When that's the case, he's going to be setting up the tailgate at 5:34 in the morning with his first beer deleted by 5:46.
These guys are out there damn near 15 hours ahead of kickoff. 15 hours of nothing but booze, grilled meats, and an uncontrollable amount of hope and anticipation heading into the first true Eagles home game of the season. I'm sure there were hundreds, if not thousands, of folks out there with them that early. There's simply no chance they all make it to kick off. Your best hope in that situation is to blackout by 10 in the morning and hopefully you can start to come-to again by like 6:30-7pm. Just in time to get yourself situated for game time. All I know is Kirk Cousins is likely to get second-hand shitfaced through the air tonight. Get ready for some drunken purchases on Kohls.com.
Happy Home Opener to you and yours. It's nice to be back with the tailgate boys again.