Dumping Them Out: Walking Across America
Welcome back to yet another episode of Dumping Them Out. After a healthy debate with a Barstool editor, I've decided I have to change the format of Dumping Them Out. Turns out I've been including too many topical stories between the Boob GIFs. Stories that should be made into their own blogs. So what I chose to hear from that conversation was that my blogs were too good. I'm simply too talented. If Dumping Them Out is to continue, the blogs will have to be significantly worse moving forward. They will still include the Boobs. But I will be dialing back the effort when it comes to writing. Or I'll at least be sure to include worse topics.
I was watching the Little League World Series yesterday and there was a player on one of the teams who's fun fact was, "dabbles in Australian and British accents". Then they interviewed the kid and had him do his Australian accent live on ESPN . But the whole time I couldn't help but think, "This would be a lot funnier if his fact was that he dabbled in Chinese accents". But ESPN would never let him do a Chinese accent. Which I thought seemed like a double standard. If we can mimic Australian and British people on ESPN, then why can't be mimic the Chinese? I guess it's probably because English is Australia and Britain's native language. Or maybe it's just cause they're white. Idk. But I was really hoping that kid would just call an audible and launch into a Chinese accent.
I just started following this guy on TikTok yesterday who's attempting to walk across the United States by foot. He's doing it on behalf of a company called Somos Family, who's raising awareness for kids with disabilities. His last post was made last night. He's on day 3. His most liked video has only 46 likes. I'm hoping he catches on soon because if he walks all the way across the United States and fails to raise any awareness that would be really sad. I'm a little worried about him. He isn't necessarily beaming with charisma. His videos are also a little long.
I fear if he doesn't find some sort of additional hook to pull people in he might just end up walking across the entire country for no one. Just a little something I look forward to keeping tabs on for the next 6-12 months. I wish him the best. Maybe this paragraph between Boob GIFs that nobody will read will help boost his profile.
Speaking of walking across the United States. I just remembered Mike Posner tried to do that once. He got bit by a small rattlesnake and almost died. Had to be airlifted out of somewhere in Colorado to a hospital so they could save his life. And if I recall the story correctly, nobody even knew he was walking across America. And he was 75% of the way done. He'd gone all the way from New Jersey to Colorado and nobody cared. So if Mike Posner, a somewhat celebrity, can't even get people to care about his walk across the country, then I don't know what chances this Somos Family guy has.
My fiancee got a new iPhone the other day, and with it came a 90-day free trial to Apple TV. So we've been trying to knock out as many Apple TV shows as possible. There's a ton of good ones on there. Apple really does a horrible job marketing their shows. I just finished Severance last night. The season 1 series finale of Severance is maybe the best series finale I've ever watched. Was on the edge of my seat the entire time. It ends on a massive cliff hanger too. And I just learned that season 1 finished in February 2022. Season 2 still isn't out. It starts back up in January 2025. If I'd have watched that show in real time I would be so fucking pissed with how long it took for season 2 to drop. I'm annoyed enough having to wait 5 months. 3 years would be torture.
After I finished Severance I went to Reddit to read up on people's theories about the show and shit like that. Big shoutout to the people on Reddit writing 5000+ word, well-researched, very well-written Reddit posts on random TV shows. Or on any topic for that matter. Their posts will feature far better writing than 95% of what you'll find on Barstool (i.e. anything not written by Francis). There's posts that people must have spent days on. All just to publish under a faceless username on a Reddit fan page. That's doing it for the love of the game right there. They don't give a shit about getting credit or anything. They just wanna talk topics with their internet friends. Much respect those guys.
