Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Art of the Deal: 'McCovey Cove Dave' Said He'd Only Return Michael Harris's Grand Slam Ball in Exchange for a Job With the Giants

Michael Harris returned from the injured list in a big way on Wednesday night, hitting a grand slam in his first at-bat for the Braves since June 14. The homer was also Harris's first career grand slam, so naturally someone from the team went to the fan who caught the ball to try to get it back to Harris.

Well, because this ball went beyond the Oracle Park right field seats and landed in McCovey Cove, the ball ended up in the hands of Giants fan "McCovey Cove Dave", who patrols the water in a kayak specifically waiting for moments like these. And he's apparently one hell of a negotiator.

Well, whatever you wants to say about the guy, you can't say he isn't dedicated to the craft. Zack Hample gets all the shine for catching baseballs, but it sounds to me like McCovey Cove Dave is really the GOAT of this occupation. He doesn't even watch the games, he's just sitting in a kayak for three hours hoping a baseball makes its way out to the water.

And if the balls mean that much to you, shoot for the stars. It's not like the Braves could really give him anything that he'd care about, so fuck it, try to get $60K a year to work for your favorite team.

This strategy worked for Michael Scott, but it seems like McCovey Cove Dave will have to still spend his days out in his kayak rather than in the Giants' front office.