It is With a Heavy Heart We Say Goodbye to Olympic Breakdancing Forever. The IOC is Not Bringing it Back for LA 2028.

Elsa. Getty Images.

To borrow a line from the fictional version of Marcus Aurelius in Gladiator, "There was once a dream that was Olympic Breakdancing. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish… it was so fragile. And I fear that it will not survive the Paris Games." And sadly, tragically really, it turns out those fears were correct:

Source - The Summer Olympics will return to a familiar landing spot in 2028 in Los Angeles [and] the International Olympic Committee has green-lighted several new (and old) sports for 2028 and subtracted another from the program list that was featured in Paris. …

Break-dancing and perhaps boxing will be out.

Now, a cynical person might suggest that the reason Breakdancing (I've never written about this event in my life and I'm not starting out by going with the hyphen. The AP Style Book can bite me.) has been eliminated after just one Olympics is because it's not a sport. Or argue it's preposterous that a dance style that was already perfected in the mid-80s by a movie franchise that introduced the world to the phrase "Electric Boogaloo":

… could award winners with the same medal Jesse Owens got for de-pantsing Hitler and giving a nutpunch to his whole "Master Race" theory in front of the world. Perhaps make the case that it's silly and ridiculous to have two competitors walk around a stage making intimidating faces at each other like it's MTV's Yo' Momma. Especially when most of them looked like they haven't taken their Driver's Test yet or ever made a sandwich without the help of their momma. 

But saying these things would be wrong. And all we non-cynics know the real and obvious reason why this noble endeavor, this Sport of Queens, is gone for good. Olympic Breakdancing was a star that burned too hot to sustain itself for long. And as it did, it outshone all the lesser events. The IOC couldn't stand that heat, and had to remove it from the kitchen. Specifically, they could not handle Raygun. 

The videos are all being scrubbed from the internet by the Copyright KGB. By the time you're reading this, it's possible even these parody ones will just be grey rectangles:

Nevertheless, Raygun's legend will live on. Long after the Gold medals have been reclaimed by nature in landfills somewhere, her routines will live on in our hearts and our minds. And, most importantly, in GIF form;

And while we can all be saddened we won't get to see another of these competitions in the Olympics, we should all be heartened somewhat. Perhaps this is for the best. What we witnessed in Raygun's performance was perfection. Zero-point-zero points would likely never be achieved again. All future dancers would be struggling in vain to equal her score and find it impossible. In the way generations chased Bob Beamon's Long Jump record from Mexico City, 1968. So it's oddly comforting to know no one will ever take the stage again. And the greatest moment in the short history of the sport can live for eternity.

So thank you, Raygun. This world was never meant for dance moves as beautiful as yours.