It Turns Out Cracking a Joke About Women Swimmers 'Doing Their Makeup' WILL Get You Fired From Covering the Olympics

Clive Rose. Getty Images.

One thing that the Olympics serve as a reminder of is that there are a lot of sports you only get exposed to every four years. And yet, no matter how niche and obscure they may be, there's somebody somewhere who has made it their life's pursuit. Meaning there are experts on the subject. And those experts get their moment to shine on TV covering these events every Summer and Winter Games. And, in doing so, often get exposed in ways they hadn't intended. 

By no means is swimming a niche sport. Swimmers compete in every time zone on Earth, from summer camps to colleges to the Olympics. But this is the rare time it reaches a broad, international audience. And not every veteran play-by-play guy is necessarily ready for the big time exposure. Take, for example, Aussie swimming announcer Bob Ballard:

Source - An Olympic commentator removed from Paris 2024 broadcasting for his "outrageous" remark about Australia's female 4x100m freestyle relay team has apologised.

Bob Ballard's comment about women "doing their makeup":

… sparked a quick rebuke from his female co-commentator and a wave of condemnation online before Olympic broadcaster Eurosport pulled him from the coverage.

Ballard tonight apologised on X, formerly Twitter, saying he didn't mean to cause offence.

Ballard's comment was made after Australia's golden girls - Mollie O'Callaghan, Shayna Jack, Emma McKeon and Meg Harris - won gold on Saturday evening.

"Well, the women just finishing up. You know what women are like … hanging around, doing their makeup," he said.

Ballard's co-commentator, Lizzie Simmonds, described the remark, which went viral on social media, as "outrageous".

We can all acknowledge the undeniable fact that if you talk into a microphone long enough, you're going to say something you regret. For some it takes decades. For others, it's one wedding toast. Regardless, we all step in it eventually. 

But there's no cutting Bob Ballard slack here. This is the Urban Dictionary definition of "You had one job." He could screw up the swimmers' names, the countries, what lane they're in, even the final results, and he'd still be on the mic today. Mental errors can be corrected with a simple, "Correction. I misspoke. That was actually blah blah blah." The one thing he couldn't survive was a "You know how chicks are" joke. Not in 2024. Probably not ever. And still, he couldn't resist. 

Believe me, the filter between my brain and my mouth has holes in it, same as anyone. I'm more than familiar with that look you failed to read the room and joke you were going for blows up in your face like a cherry bomb. But you can't do this for a living without recognizing the one thing you can't survive while covering women's sports. And that is to tell female stereotype jokes. No matter how tempting it might be. 

No "always hanging around bits. No "doing their makeup" gags. You can't say things like, "There's no better anchor in the 4X100 freestyle, but you wouldn't want her parallel parking your car!" No "Someone stole her credit card. But her husband told the bank the thief can keep it because he spends less than she does" jokes. No snarky, "I support women's swimming. As long as they're being paid 78% of what the men are making." And definitely nothing about "She's a great teammate. About 28 days out of the month" or anything about attracting bears:

Because all those things would be wrong.

If a professional sports announcer can't self-edit well enough to avoid the one off-limits subject, goes ahead and tries for the laugh anyway, he shouldn't have the gig. Just because everyone who talks for a living makes mistakes doesn't mean every mistake deserves a free pass.