Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Jerry Jones Rambling About Being 'All-In' And Comparing Himself To Patrick Mahomes Is A Clear Sign The Cowboys Will Hilariously Choke This Season

Does anyone know what Jerry Jones is saying? Because he's all-in, but only until January 2025 and doesn't care about the future. I love it. Go ahead and risk losing some key players, that's how you're all-in baby. Also makes me wonder what the hell Jerry Jones was doing the previous 30 years the Cowboys choked away seasons. Was he half-in, not all-in? Honestly, this is my favorite clip that will happen in the football world for months. Might not get topped this season.

That is until the Cowboys do something so hilariously stupid that it blows up their entire season. I don't know who needs to hear this, but that's who the Cowboys are. There are many adults who have never seen the Cowboys in the Super Bowl. They aren't this proud franchise, they are living on the 70s and early-mid 90s. Sure, they aren't going 5-12 every year, but they also aren't winning when it matters. You could say they are in the biggest hell out of any franchise in the NFL because they talk like they are Super Bowl contenders, try to act like it and then fail miserably every year. At least some of the franchises that stink know they stink. 

Wait, it gets better.

That's right, Jerry Jones is calling himself Patrick Mahomes. I love this so goddamn much. He's talking about extending players and goes into great detail about being an option quarterback. The man thinks he's the best in the league. We're talking about Patrick Mahomes and that's who Jerry Jones is going with. I love this interview so much. 

At least the all-in season is off to a great start

As a proud Cowboys hater I personally would like Jerry Jones to talk as much as possible this season. Can we make sure he has a mic and camera in front of him at least 4-5 days a week? If he's going to be rambling incoherently about being all-in, I'd like him to remind us as much as possible.