Steve Ballmer Unveiled His New Halo Scoreboard And It's Every Bit As Awesome As He Promised

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We first learned of the Clippers' new home back in the summer of 2019, and pretty much everything Steve Ballmer and the team have told us about this new arena has sounded incredible. Remember how pumped he got for how many toilets it was going to have? What a moment

Back in 2019 they told us it would be ready to open in 2024, and..well…here we are! Time sure does fly amirite? I'll be honest, ever since 2020 my entire concept of time has been beyond cooked. I cannot tell you a single thing that happened in the back half of 2020 or the entirety of 2021. Our brains are collectively melted from all that bullshit.

Anyways, after a quick 5 years, it's finally time to unveil all this cool shit Ballmer had been telling us about

We already learned about The Wall and got the details surrounding that first-of-a-kind section of seats

which has the potential to be very awesome. Who knows, maybe that changes the game forever and once other teams see the success and how great it is, they adopt a similar idea. Or, it's going to be a complete disaster. I imagine we're going to see a handful of fights during LAC/LAL games because Lakers fans somehow snuck in and all hell breaks loose. Either way, I can't wait to see what happens.

Then of course there's the Halo. This was going to be the 44,000 sq ft LED scoreboard and as you can imagine, it's ridiculous

I know this is basically just like the double-sided videoboard that the Rams have so it's not like we haven't seen something like this before, but we damn sure haven't seen it in an NBA arena. Listen, scoreboard updates are important. I remember when the Garden finally updated its scoreboard, it made a huge difference. That coach's corner feature? Hell yeah. Very in on that.

Now we're cooking with gas. At the end of the day, this is what people care about. Sure some people might like to see stats or analytics, but every single one of us wants a camera on Steve Ballmer at ALL TIMES during games. What's the point of building this fancy gigantic scoreboard if you aren't going to have a Steve Ballmer cam? This is honestly the only thing they actually need to show. You can't tell me they didn't think of everything with this new arena.

If this is Steve Ballmer's way of trying to load up on good karma so the Clippers can finally win their first title, I don't hate the move. 

Another A++ move by Steve Ballmer. People love the t-shirt toss, no matter what the setting is. There's just something about getting a free t-shirt that really does it for people, and why not? Everyone can always use a free t-shirt, not to mention kids lose their shit whenever it happens. But you know who always got screwed? Anyone sitting in the nosebleeds. You go to an arena and you have to pray there's some sort of parachute promotion that drops down and somehow blows over to you while carrying a Dunkin Donuts gift card. Well, that's not going to be a problem in Steve Ballmer's new arena, he found the solution: t-shirt cannons.

Like I said, they thought of everything!

Not sure I love the "Make Waves" slogan, but in terms of graphics and technology? Yeah, that was pretty damn sweet. I imagine concerts here are going to be a trip, similar to what we see with the Sphere, and this type of immersive experience is only going to become more of the norm as newer arenas continue to be built. It's pretty obvious Steve Ballmer just reset the standard for NBA arenas in today's day and age while also sneaky calling every other owner in the league little broke bitches. 

Not only does Steve Ballmer's new arena have 3x the toilets of any other NBA arena, but it also has the best scoreboard/technology in the league. Not only that, let's not forget that every seat also has a charger. I believe we call that "checkmate". 

So hats off to Steve Ballmer and the Clippers. This thing actually looks as incredible as you made it sound over the last 5 years. Unfortunately, there's a decent chance the team that plays in this arena takes a step back and might stink if Kawhi can't stay healthy. Sick scoreboard though.