Where Will Skip Bayless Go Next?

For the last 8 years, FS1 has had the distinct pleasure of being home to the hottest, freshest, most shameless sports takes you can find on TV. Takes so hot they chased Shannon Sharpe off of basic cable and into a dark living room where he smokes cigars with comedians who predict the future. 

That Katt Williams interview is going to end up applying to the Trump assassination attempt as well. Mark my words. I'm just not sure exactly how yet.

Regardless, Skip Bayless appears to be leaving FS1. By the end of this summer, Skip Bayless will be a free agent. So where will he go next? It has to be somewhere. Skip Bayless is a spry 72 years old. I mean look the guy...

That's a man with DECADES of terrible takes left in his arsenal. The takes have to go somewhere. If I'm Skip Bayless, here are a few landing destinations I would consider.

Anything with Stephen A. Smith

We'll get the obvious one out of the way first. Someday, Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith must meet again. Even if it's just one. They can each bring to the table their 10 favorite debate topics from the last 8+ years they've been apart. Debates that the world didn't have the pleasure to see them hash out at the desk. Just one long 12 hour episode of two blowhards screaming nonsense at each other. Just like the good ol' days. 

Unfortunately ESPN immediately got in front of the situation and declared that they have zero interest in bringing Skip Bayless back. 

But that doesn't mean shit if Stephen A. Smith decides he wants another shot at him. Stephen A. runs ESPN. If he even hints that he might like to verbally spar with Skip again, ESPN would open the check book right up. I don't think he'll ever do that. I have a feeling Stephen A. Smith would prefer to never look Skip Bayless in the eye for the rest of his life. But if he had any balls he would welcome the opportunity. They're the greatest bad debate duo in sports history. The world deserves to see them go at it at least one more time.

Barstool Sports

I feel like Dave can scrounge up the funding for one more crazy, splashy, way too expensive financially irresponsible hire. Imagine Dave sitting down Brandon Walker and breaking the news to him that his life is about to suck for the foreseeable future. That he'll be spending the next however many months/years sitting next to Skip Bayless. Forced to argue about whether or not Bronny James will pan out in the NBA every god damn day… 

Or imagine Skip Bayless making his monthly charity appearance on Wake Up Mintzy. Or Skip Bayless in Spider-Man face paint teamed up with Steven Cheah for a Yak case race. Or Skip Bayless undressing Chris Klemmer in a debate over who the "real" home run king is. Or we just send Skip Bayless to New York. Throw us a bone Dave. Get Barstool New York a brand new Skip Bayless to play with. Give him Erika's old office. Keep a camera rolling in there 24/7. Have him hold office hours every day where he rips to shreds anybody who dares come in and challenge him on a topic of their choosing. 

Donald Trump

Anna Moneymaker. Getty Images.

I don't know exactly what positions or opportunities Trump will have available when he's elected permanent president come November. But I have to think there's a place for a man like Skip Bayless on his squad. Skip Bayless can sit across a desk and have a conversation with anybody in the world without flinching. He's so irrationally confident in himself that no matter who's he's up against, he will look him (or her) dead in the eye and talk as if he's in charge. In Skip's mind, he has the upper hand on anyone. Say what you want about the guy, but that's an admirable quality to have. Not many people are wired that way. Trump's a creative guy. I'm sure he can find a place on his team that would benefit from a person of that ilk. I don't know what Skip's politics are. I'm guessing him and Trump might not necessarily line up. But that doesn't matter to Skip. Just tell the man what side to take in any argument and he'll defend it to this death. That's what his entire career is built on. 

The Skip Bayless Network (SBN)

If I had to bet money, I think Skip is going to do something like this. He'll start his own show on his own network. He'll sign a multi-million dollar deal with a highly reputable company like Rumble. Then every day he brings on some half-literate former athlete like Jerry Rice that he can beat into a pulp for 90 minutes. At the end of each show he'll declare himself the winner. He'll award himself a crown. He'll wear the crown every show until someone defeats him. But nobody will ever defeat him. He'll have a big whiteboard in the studio that says, "__ consecutive days without losing a debate". He'll run The Skip Bayless Network like Kim Jong Un runs North Korea. He'll do it until the day he dies. When he eventually becomes old and senile, he'll move the studio to his bedroom where he'll debate guests from hospice. He won't even know what day it is. He'll barely remember his own name. But he'll keep one yelling. Terrible sports debates are what keep him alive. Like Joe Paterno when he quit coaching… the day Skip Bayless stops debating is the day he dies.

TikTok Live Matches

People on TikTok do these things called live matches. They're terrible. TikTok Live Matches are truly a sign that our society is doomed. They're straight out of the movie Idiocracy. People will go live on TikTok, then TikTok will match them up with another random TikToker, and they'll beg their followers for money for however many minutes. After the allotted time is up, whoever's followers shelled out more money in fuzzy watermelons and cowboy hats is declared the winner. 

I picture Skip Bayless being matched up with some random 15-year old girl. She has no fucking idea what's about to hit her. She thinks they're about to do they're typical, "Ok followers! How who's got something for me?!" OMG PandaPants24! Thank you so much for the scary lion! W's in the chat for for PandaPants!" But then Skip Bayless comes at her with a, "PATRICK MAHOMES IS NOTHING MORE THAN A PRODUCT OF ERIC BIENIEMY'S SYSTEM"… He proceeds to shout at her about the Chiefs offense for 5 minutes until she's brought to tears and deletes the app all together and gets a job as a barista. 

New York City Street Corner

If nobody hires Skip Bayless. And he's such a miserable person to deal with that no one will help him get The Skip Bayless Network up and running. Or teach him how to do TikTok Live Matches. Skip will still need to debate someone. Again… if Skip Bayless stops debating, he will surely die. He needs to debate. So worst case scenario, Skip Bayless will post up on a NYC street corner. Or maybe set up a table in Washington Square Park like the guy from the "change my mind" meme.

He'll publicly debate whichever unfortunate stranger dares give him the time of day. Any time you want to debate a sports topic you can simply go to the corner of 8th & Broadway and scream at Skip Bayless for 10 minutes. It would draw a crowd. Skip could put out a little bucket for people to drop dollar bills in if they like his takes. His wife Earnestine will sit off to the side in a lawn chair with a cooler full of ice cold Diet Mountain Dews to keep him fueled up. It would be fantastic.

Skip Bayless is going to end up somewhere. There's no chance that man ever retires. He'll be sipping Diet Mountain Dew while he debates trivial sports topics as if his life depends on it until the day he dies. It's just a matter of where it will be.