Bless This American Hero/Psycho Who Spent Years Collecting Every Single Wawa Sandwich Receipt Number From 0 To 999

Wow! Or something. The Comcast services are alive and well. Because who wouldn't willingly donate over $5,000 (minimum ballpark figure as Shorti's are $5 during Hoagiefest) to the educators at Wawa University to secure 1000 pieces of paper in numerical order? Honestly, Tyler, just because you could doesn't necessarily mean that you should. Then again, life, uh, finds a way. And everyone needs a purpose in life, so why not try to get some views via a millennia of Wawa receipts? Don't hate it. It's beyond difficult and random it is for dudes to go viral nowadays. A lady can randomly fling out a "Hawk Tuah!" on camera and legit be set for life. Meanwhile, guys have to resort to the weird, uncharted, and possibly batshit stuff to get a few eyeballs. Case in Wawa Tyler's point: The Philly Chicken Guy who sacrificed himself to eat a rotisserie chicken for 40 Days straight for…the good of the people? Sure, why not. Can't hate the man or the effort. Like ball, views don't lie. 

Right on, fight on Zeldz. Keep doing you. Hopefully this results in at min free Wawa or at max Sainthood because, and I don't say this lightly, you are the greatest hero in American history. Also, fuck Sheetz. 

PS - Your friendly reminded that almost all Hoagiefest songs are still absolute jams.