A Plan is Being Floated Where Taylor Swift Helps Find a Replacement for Biden as the Democrats' Nominee

I don't think I'm saying anything partisan when I say Joe Biden's public speaking performances have raised serious concerns among his supporters. Or that I'm doing anything other than stating the obvious when I point out there are many loyalists in his own party who are calling for him to step down as their nominee because they believe having someone on the top of the ticket who seems best suited for a Visiting Angels ad is committing electoral suicide. The numbers speak for themselves:

And they weren't going gangbusters for him even before he took to the debate stage. As one of the most competent, effective campaign strategists the nation has ever seen pointed out last month:

And yet, switching nominees in the middle of a campaign year, with the election barely four months away, seems like an impossible task. It's not like firing your manager over the All Star break, promoting his bench coach, and hoping you get a bounce that strings a few wins together. There are a billion factors to consider. Hundreds of millions of dollars already committed. Campaign infrastructures in place. Delegates have been selected by the voters who are obligated to vote for the candidate. And who knows how many jobs at all levels of the campaign and government in all 50 states are on the line. It's like trying to turn a massive oil tanker around. All the momentum is heading in one direction, and you can't just pivot it on a dime. 

That said, some highly connected politicos seem to think they have come up with the perfect method for getting it done:

Source - As the Democratic Party convulses over questions about President Joe Biden’s mental fitness, a pair of well-connected Democrats is offering an optimistic plan that would involve the president stepping down as the nominee and the party announcing a “blitz primary” process ahead of the August convention.

The proposal is the work of Rosa Brooks, a Georgetown University law professor who served in the Obama and Clinton administrations and as a volunteer policy adviser to the Biden campaign in 2020, and Ted Dintersmith, a venture capitalist and education philanthropist who has donated to various Democratic campaigns. …

Their idea goes something like this, according to a memo shared with Semafor that has been circulated to Democratic donors and bundlers as well as officials within the Biden campaign and administration: 

• Biden would step down as the Democratic nominee in mid-July, and announce the new system, with backing from Vice President Kamala Harris.
• Potential candidates would have a few days to throw their respective hats in the ring. The Democratic Party then would begin a primary sprint in which the six candidates who receive the most votes from delegates pledge to run positive-only campaigns in the month leading up to the convention.
• The “blitz primary” would involve weekly forums with each candidate moderated by cultural icons (Michelle Obama, Oprah, and Taylor Swift are among the names floated in the memo) in order to engage voters.

According to its authors, the country would be captivated.

We most certainly would. 

Sure, some might argue this isn't exactly democratic. But just wait until they get a load of those weekly forums moderated by cultural icons. They'll forget all about voters' rights and representative government once they get to hear the candidates discuss marginal tax rates with Michelle Obama, restoring America's manufacturing base with Oprah, and foreign policy with Taylor Swift. I watched about a half hour of the The Eras Tour movie while making dinner one night, and I for one am dying to hear her grill the prospective nominees on how they plan to engage with Russia to stop the war in Ukraine. At least we can count on T-Swizzle challenging them with difficult questions and not letting them argue about their golf handicaps. 

Sure, this isn't how our Founding Fathers drew it up. But it's not like we haven't made repeated changes to how we elect leaders. They never never wanted political parties, but here we are. They only wanted white guys who owned land to vote, and we cleaned that up. They most certainly never anticipated primaries, campaign finance, radio and TV ads, electronic voting or computer polling maps. We've changed how things are done to keep up with the times, and survived this long.

Beside, if we're being perfectly honest, we can admit democracy has failed. It's time to try something new. Something involving America's most respected and admired leaders: Our celebrities. Let them use the same talent and wisdom that put them on half the magazine covers on the rack at the supermarket checkout to solve all our problems. The "blitz primary" is an idea whose time has come. Jefferson, Adams and Franklin would be proud they risked royal hangings so we could decide the fate of our country this way.