All Time Fail Of Fails Today From The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest By Not Having Paige Spiranac There

Question- who watched the 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest today?

Answer=

I usually don’t like watching girls eat. But when you’re in love, everything changes. Thus, I could watch Paige eat a Goodyear tire with a spoon and dull knife and be happy as a clam.

And I KNOW, I am not alone.

Which raises a great fuckin question.

How could the Nathan’s hot dog people (producers of the finest cased meat missiles in the United States) whiff so bad here?

You cancelled Kobayashi a few weeks ago because he went vegan, and so be it. As a result you had Paige just dumping em out there, offering herself up as a more than worthy replacement.

And I blogged it here 

And again,

So what are we doing here guys??? Is Nathan’s marketing team alive?  Or too woke? Or what’s going on? How did you miss on this? 

It wasn’t some PR stunt either. As any fellow   ̶s̶t̶a̶l̶k̶e̶r̶ frequent follower of her social media will attest, this chick loves sucking down hot dogs.

Like the rest of us.

You bet your ass had Paige been on this card today that my eyes would have been glued to the television. 

And so would have every other red-blooded American male with a high libido and no wife or girlfriend. That’s a pretty big chunk of us I gotta think. 

I wrote this a few weeks ago here -

It feels like I'm constantly giving out free marketing advice on here, and this is just another instance of that. Nathan's needs to shake things up a little bit to revive this spectacle. Name me a better way for them to do that than by adding America's Sweetheart Paige to the mix. You can't.

Get her on that stage in an American flag bikini top. Give us a fixed camera with a stream focused only on her, with CCR's "Fortunate Son" blaring, and I guarantee your ratings will soar. 

Clean it up Nathan’s.