Karen Read Murder Trial, Week 8: The Commonwealth Finally Rests at the End of a Horrific Final Week for the Prosecution

As I'm writing this, the Commonwealth has finally wrapped up it's prosecution of Karen Read for the murder of her boyfriend, Boston Police officer John O'Keefe. If you've read any of the previous dozen or so recaps I've done throughout the proceedings, you know it's been a personal journey for me. From the beginning two months ago, I've tried to keep a metaphorical "Ignore the Noise" sign on the abstract wall of the Patriots locker room inside my head. To filter out the most Loony Tunes theories from the Twitter accounts, many of whom I'm convinced are run by people with devastating mental and emotional issues, and who are accountable to no one. 

Because I endeavored to not only see this trial unfold through the eyes of the jurors who'll decide it, but also to be responsible. To readers, to the nice people who pay me so I don't have to get a real job. But also to my soul. It's a big thing to accuse police, prosecutors and the court system of conspiring to frame a woman in order to cover up an actual crime. It's not a thing to be done lightly. But to steal a line from the only politician my father ever respected JFK, I blog about this trial and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Here's the recap from earlier in the week to demonstrate what I mean.

And when I left the trial coverage a few days ago, we were on Commonwealth's witness Trooper Joseph Paul. And what a Roland Emmerich-level disaster his testimony was:

There's a German expression I like to use at moments like this: Fremdschamen. It refers to those moments when you're second-hand embarrassed for someone who lacks the capacity to be embarrassed for themselves. That applies not only to Trooper Paul, who testified in such a way that he can never arrest someone for OUI again. Because if he does, the defense lawyer will simply say, "Is it your testimony my client's speech was slurred and incoherent?" then show this video. And said that before he swore under oath "the crime scene" told him what happened the night of January 29th, 2022. 

The Fremdschamen also applies to ADA Adam Lally in that first clip. Finally getting to argue against the defense and stepping on his own dick right out of the gate. And for his entire attempt at putting together a prosecution. Which most of the time has seemed like he was doing one of the punishments at the end of Impractical Jokers. "Ask him again 'Who, if anyone, was driving the ambulance?' Bwahahaha!!!" 

That also goes for, at minimum, 60 of the slightly more than 60 witnesses the Commonwealth ended up calling. The ones who couldn't keep their stories straight. Who either said things on the stand they never said during the investigation or the two Grand Jury proceedings they took part in. The insultingly stupid butt dial excuses. The vague explanations for why they deleted texts or straight up destroyed phones. Or why investigators and people at 34 Fairview were aggressively disinterested in one another, despite the potential bonding that can only come from finding a police officer dying in the cold outside the house. And so on. 

The major difference being that, when you're second-hand embarrassed for someone, it's hilarious. This is about a homicide trail that, at bare minmum, went pear-shaped from the very beginning. And at bare maximum, has felt like a ruthless attempt to send an innocent woman to jail for the rest of her life to protect a house filled with law enforcement officers, who just happen to be friends with the lead investigator from the MA State Police, Michael Proctor. 

What's most amazing about this week, aside from the fact the Commonwealth finally rested, is that things actually got worse after Paul stumbled and mumbled his way through Monday's proceedings. Let us begin to count the ways:

The state's next (using the term as loosely as the English language will allow me) technical expert to testify after Joseph Paul was Ian Whiffen. Who claimed he's developed software than proves Jenn McCabe's infamous "hos long to die in cold" Google search came at 6:23 in the morning. After John O'Keefe was found dying:

Until he said he didn't:

Then where was forensics analyst Nicholas Guarino, to explain where the defendant and the victim were on the night in question:

Guarino didn't acquit himself much better:

In fact, he more or less blew up the prosecution's entire case with the phone data. Which not only had O'Keefe going up and down flights of stairs after Read was alleged to have pulled off the perfect Murder-by-Taillight crime:

 … but also had Read connected to the WiFi at O'Keefe's place:

You don't have one of those people who can't go out into the backyard without your phone losing its connection to understand how ludicrous it is to try to put her at a crime scene miles away from the WiFi she was on. Which alone should be enough for the jurors to declare this:

But it goes on. The witness had an explanation for O'Keefe's digitally apparent StairMastering. It wasn't because he was traveling up and down between the flights at 34 Fairview. It was because he was driving: 

We don't know exactly how hilly this Cedarcrest is. But since the state's data shows it looked like O'Keefe was going up and down stairs and Read wasn't while she was behind the wheel and he was shotgun, we can only conclude it's about a 14 on the Stimpmeter, with a severe left-to-right break. That, or the witnesses are being less than forthcoming with their interpretations of the phone records. 

My money is on the latter. Because enough missing records and Magic Data evidence came up over the last couple of days to make the Warren Commission conspirators say, "Hey, at least we weren't this blatant," as they're being tortured by demons in a fiery, brimstone pit:

Worse still, Lally attempted to score points with the jury by trying to enter into evidence that the day O'Keefe died, she was searching Google for an OUI attorney. A couple of problems with that. First, being that it's not an admission or even suggestion of guilt. Second, her search came immediately after getting a call from Trooper Proctor's private phone. Which understandably isn't sitting well with the people who make their living off defending the accused:

Just the idea that the state would try to use someone's search for an OUI lawyer after presumably being told they'll be charged with OUI stinks of desperation, no matter how you look at it.

The Commonwealth may or may not have scored points by playing the angry, unhinged voicemails Read spent the night leaving on O'Keefe's phone. It certainly convinced some on the Twittersphere of her guilt:

Though I'm of the mind that if she had just killed him - willfully and intentionally, as she's being charged - then leaving messages for him makes no sense. Or, it makes her a criminal mastermind that Columbo couldn't outsmart. Never mind the Canton Police. I'm going with the former. I just hear a frantic, desperate woman, furious at her man for ditching her to stay at a party. Raise your hand if you've ever been on either side of that equation. Practically everybody? Right. Moving on …

One of the more reasonable, professional prosecution witnesses to take the stand was the Medical Examiner, who testified O'Keefe died of hypothermia. Making the allegation against Jenn McCabe all the more horrifying, if it's true her Google search did happen at 2:23 am:

Though the ME stopped short of definitively saying whether O'Keefe was struck by a car or had been in a fight:

She also said his injuries were all to his upper body. Dr. Scordi-Bello is the one who Michael Proctor called "a wack job" in one of his infamous texts. 

So make of her testimony what you will. 

As far as the defense's chance to present a case, they led off with the snowplow driver. The very Masshole named Lucky Loughran, who was only brought into this case thanks to legwork done by Turtleboy. And as far as first witnesses go, Read's team couldn't have done much better. As he made repeated trips up and down Fairview after the time of the alleged car accident and saw no body lying outside the house:

And even if O'Keefe wasn't 6-2, 220 lbs, he would have:

Finally, let's remember that this is the Karen Read Murder Trial. The Olympics for Massholes. So naturally it's going to be ridiculous, no matter how important it is. Which is going to bring out the Norfolk County Aubrey Plaza in some people. 

See you back in court on Monday for the rest of the defense's case. It's going to be WILD.