We Are Currently Raising The Softest Generation Ever With All These Kids Buzzing Around On Electric Scooters
DreamsNavigator. Getty Images.At some point it happened to our parents. At some point it's happened to you. And at some point, it'll happen to these little shitheads as well.
Nobody thinks they'll ever become the old man yelling at the clouds. We all think we'll be cool and hip and easy going forever. But then one day you can't go more than 5 minutes without seeing some little twerp buzzing down the sidewalk riding an electric scooter on a hot summer day without even breaking a sweat, and it'll fill you with rage. It's just the way that life works. We all become the old man yelling at the clouds, and the electric scooter pandemic in our nation has been my final straw.
These fucking kids will just never know how good they have it. There was a time when you had to put in legitimate work if you wanted to hang out with your friends. First thing you'd have to do is call up their house phone to make plans and deal with their parents answering the call. Always a tough 30 seconds as a kid having to talk to an adult on the phone. There weren't cellphones in every 5-year-old's hands where you could just text your pal without dealing with the parental middle man.
And once those plans were set, you had to put in the physical labor to actually get to your friend's house. Whether that was on your bike, skateboard, roller blades, Razor scooter, whatever. It was hot as balls out there and you needed to actually work to get there. You couldn't just unplug a scooter from the charger and buzz down the block without ever having to move a muscle. Do kids these days even know what it's like to be drenched in sweat? Will they never know what it's like to try to buy ice cream with disgusting crumpled up dollar bills that are soaked from being stuffed in their sock all day? Now all they need to do to buy something from the ice cream truck is have mommy and daddy venmo a few bucks over.
I just fear that they have it too easy, is all. The lack of adversity these kids have to overcome these days to hang out with their friends can't be great for character building. The only issue is that the kids who ride actual bikes these days are all doing wheelies in the middle of the street. But I guess I'll take a bunch of roustabouts disobeying traffic laws over a bunch of soft kids who just have to push a 'power' button to get around town.