The World's Biggest Airline Pilots Union Wants to Eliminate Words Like 'Cockpit' and 'Guys' for Being 'Masculine Generalizations'

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I used to have to belong to a union. Specifically, a public sector union when I had my old state job. And while I would've preferred not to, I did have to acknowledge the boring, unsexy things that membership provided for me and my family. A certain level of job security. Decent health benefits. Time off. A pension, such as it is, since I left early to go spew nonsense on radio and the internet. But whether you're pro-union or think they exist just to keep shiftless, lazy layabouts like me from having to actually do their jobs, there's one thing I always try to keep in mind, that you should to. 

Unions don't exist to help anyone except their dues paying members. They're not about helping management. For sure they don't care about the customer. The MLBPA is no more concerned with whether you're having a good night at the ballpark than your city trash collector's union cares if some garbage ends up on your lawn. Their rank-and-file often care and try to do a good job. But that's not what organized labor exists for. The head of the teachers' union doesn't concern his- or herself with whether your kid can conjugate verbs. The pay, bennies and working conditions of their members are all that count. That has always been the deal with all labor groups. 

That is, until now. Finally, a union has stepped up to the plate and decided to go to bat for the paying customers. To fight for you and me in the general public to make sure our experience is satisfactory, safe, and above all, inclusive:

Source - The world’s largest airline pilot union suggested airmen and women stop using terms purportedly offensive to women and LGBTQ individuals, calling out terms like “cockpit” as non-inclusive. 

Air Line Pilots Association, Int’l … lists numerous terms and phrases to avoid — especially “masculine generalizations” — that it deemed to be non-inclusive.

“Inclusive language in communications is essential to our union’s solidarity and collective strength and is an important factor in maintaining flight safety,” the guide states. “The purpose of this language guide is to offer examples of terms and phrases that promote inclusion and equity.”

ALPA, for example, suggested replacing the word “cockpit” with “flight deck.” The purportedly offensive term “has been and may be used in a derogatory way to exclude women in the piloting profession,” the guide states.

“Many women have heard a variation of ‘It is called a cockpit for a reason’ by a male pilot, suggesting that women do not belong in the piloting profession,” the guide said. 

But Wall Street Journal columnist and linguist Ben Zimmer wrote that the term “cockpit” originated from cockfighting in 16th century England.

“The circular pit was surrounded by a barrier to keep the gamecocks from escaping, with spectators” who viewed the “bloody sport” as entertainment, he wrote in 2019.

The term evolved to describe a boisterous and tense atmosphere, according to Zimmer.  …

Similarly, ALPA’s guide called for the words “man” and “men” to be avoided. It offered suggestions for the word “manpower,” including “people/human power.”

“Who will provide the people/human power to support this event?” the guide stated as an example.

The guide also suggests avoiding using masculine terms, like “guys,” when addressing groups, since the word is not inclusive of “women, transgender people and people with different gender identities.” 

ALPA advised against using “mother/father.” That phrasing could alienate “different family structures, such as grandparents as caregivers, same-sex parents,” among others. 

Well, it's about time. Good for you, ALPA. Thanks for seeing to it that someone finally rolled up their sleeves, got to work, and started addressing the fundamental problem of air travel. We can deal with major delays. Flights being cancelled at the last second because they're not full enough to be cost effective. Ticket holders getting bumped because the flight was over booked. Doors falling off planes in midflight. People bringing a Noah's Ark of animals on board. Food and drinks being reduced to a 0.5 ounce of tiny pretzels and the world's smallest water bottle (if you even get that). Or the general state being herded into a metal tube with the dregs of society for hours on end. We can take that standing on our heads. 

What we can no longer tolerate is "cockpit" falling upon sensitive ears. After all, how much more masculine does it get? That right there is a compound word made up of two of the smelliest, most repulsive and off-putting parts of the male anatomy. You might as well just call it the "scrotumhole." So is it any wonder why the cockpit flight deck has traditionally been a bastion of the worst kind of toxic masculinity?

I think we'd all have felt better when Sully Sullenberger was guiding his jet through the skies of Manhattan and safely touching down on the Hudson if we knew he was on the radio saying, “Who will provide the people/human power to come out and fish us all out of the river?" That when the persons who stormed the coc-- flight deck of Flight 93 didn't say "Let's roll, guys" as they sacrificed their own lives for those of us on the ground. And that when the over 16,000 young American airpersons who lost their lives in the skies over Europe in the two months of operations during and after D-Day, their dying thoughts weren't of the mothers, fathers or grandparents they'd never see again. But of respecting different family structures. 

So thanks for solving all of the public's air travel problems, ALPA. We can all rest easy now. Safe in the knowledge that you've tackled the crucial issues we're all dealing with every time we take to the skies and put our lives in your union members' hands. 

As George Orwell, who said "The slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts," would be proud.